Recently in Beyonce Category

Beyonce leaving Kanaloa nightclub in London (11/14)

Oh look, Paris Hilton gained 40 pounds and is now black. Didn't see that one coming.

UPDATE (11/20): Found a few new pics with a better angle, and by "better angle" I mean, "unless your boss is Larry Flint, don't click on this pic or this pic at work or you'll definitely be fired." (NSFW)

Beyonce leaving Mahiki nightclub in London (11/17)

Beyonce brought so much damn luggage with her to London this week, she had to book a separate hotel room to store it all. In her defense, you really can't bring enough socks when you travel. From the Daily Mirror:

Queen Beyonce was holed up in outrageous luxury this week - but her mammoth haul of excess baggage was nowhere to be seen. That's because it was in its own separate room - in a hotel more than 30 miles away. Mrs Jay Z hit our shores this week and performed a storming two hour set for 10,000 fans at Liverpool's Echo Arena on Wednesday.

The babe stayed in the £2,450-a-night Charles Forte Presidential Suite at the Lowry Hotel in Manchester. But being Beyonce, she booked another room at Liverpool's Malmaison hotel - at just £170 - to store her kit.

It took four helpers to lug her gear up the stairs. Says our source: "She had seven suitcases, three hand luggage bags and two boxes, all for her mammoth gig. In the cases there were apparently 14 dresses, lots of shoes, make-up and 25 wigs."

What's up with Divas traveling around with so much luggage? First it was Madonna, then Mariah Carey, and now Beyonce. Why can't these women live like the rest of us where the only baggage they carry around is from that one time in first grade when that bitch Suzy Hanahan convinced me it would be "neat" if I pulled my pants down in front of the class during PE on what was probably the coldest day of the year which caused so much shrinkage that it earned me the unfortunate nickname of "baby acorn" that stuck with me all through high school -- *clears throat* Anyway, that sure is a lot of luggage isn't it?
 
NOTE: The fact that Beyonce travels with 25 wigs means can only mean one thing: she's finally accomplished her goal of owning more hairpieces than Lex Luthor.

Beyonce leaving Felix nightclub in Berlin (11/6)

Dammit, I knew I should have been an International pop star instead of a lowly blogger! From the Chicago Sun Times:

Back on this side of the pond, Beyonce's papa and manager Matthew Knowles has been hard at work, looking to snare one of the biggest -- if not the biggest -- star contracts in the history of Las Vegas for his daughter.

Several sources report that Knowles is close to a deal making Beyonce the ''resident star'' at the glitzy Wynn Hotel & Casino -- a deal that could run into the hundreds of millions of buckeroos over five years.

For someone concerned about the size of her ass, Vegas doesn't seem like the right place for Beyonce. Sure she'll make hundreds of millions of dollars and have a blast partying at the hottest clubs, but those "All You Can Eat" buffets can be murder on one's backside. If Beyonce really wants to keep the weight off of her ass, she should perform somewhere where food is exceptionally scarce: like Ethiopia or Nicky Hilton's house.

Beyonce leaving Icebergs restaurant in Sydney (9/19)

Make no mistake, Beyonce is 100x the star Lindsay Lohan is. That point was reinforced this weekend at the F1 Rocks event in Singapore. From the Daily Mirror:

LiLo, who was hosting the event for Channel 4, had asked for the best dressing room in the house at Fort Canning, Singapore. But there was a small problem - so had Beyonce . . . when Lindsay came on site earlier in the week, she clocked the huge room - and claimed it herself.

All well and good and LiLo was happy all week - until Saturday when Beyonce arrived, with a 70-strong entourage in tow. Her giant security guards ordered LiLo to clear the area to prepare for her grand entrance.

She told us: "I've been a bit down. It was a strange night. Everyone was being aggressive and bothering me. I really didn't like it."

Why did Lindsay need a huge dressing room anyways? She certainly didn't need all the space -- all she brought with her on the flight was a tiny little carry-on. I don't know if you've heard, but airlines are charging $20 now if you want to check a bag.

Beyonce performing in Perth, Australia (9/24)

Either I am tripping my ass off or that really happened at Beyonce's concert in Perth yesterday. I did just eat a piece of toast I found under the couch for breakfast, but that's causing more of an upset stomach than hallucinations. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Beyonce's choreographer revealed his plans for this conert. "After the fifth song, were gonna rush you backstage and do a quick outfit change into something that makes you look like a complete fucking idiot. We're gonna surround you with weird green people to really drive home the point."

Beyonce at the MTV Video Music Awards in New York (9/13)

Beyonce fans, set your calendars for October 25. That's the day she will most likely be beheaded after her concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. From the New York Daily News:

Beyonce Knowles says she will perform in Malaysia in October, two years after canceling a show in this Muslim-majority country after protesters threatened to disrupt the concert because of her sexy image and clothing.

The R&B superstar's upcoming show is already drawing the ire of conservatives in this country, where female performers are required to cover up from the shoulders to knees with no cleavage showing.

Sabki Yusof, youth vice head of the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, said Sunday that they would send a protest note to the government over the concert. He said it was the government's "responsibility to protect the people of Malaysia" from what he described as immoral Western influences.

"We are not against entertainment as long as it is within the framework of our culture and our religion," Sabki said. "We are against Western sexy performances. We don't think our people need that."

Are times really so tough for Beyonce that she needs to perform in a country where its citizens would sooner see her head come off than her clothing? Either someone there is paying her a shitload of money for this concert, or she just likes to antagonize other cultures. Regardless, as a woman in an Islamic country, if Beyonce really wants to incite the crowd, she doesn't need to dress provocatively -- she just needs to express her own opinion.

Beyonce bikini pics!

Beyonce in Miami (May 2007)

Beyonce performing at the Staples Center in LA (7/13)

Beyonce's reputation for being "difficult" (read: a bitch) just got kicked up a notch. She's banning photographers on her tour from taking pictures of her from behind. From the New York Daily News:

Beyoncé has a strict rule on her “I Am ... Sasha Fierce” tour: Photographers aren’t allowed to shoot her from behind. Says an insider of the singer, “Beyoncé’s costumes are so tiny and her choreography is so complicated that inevitably she sweats. It looks pretty gross, so no one is allowed to shoot her from that particular angle anymore.”

I'm sure it's just excessive sweat that's prompting Beyonce to declare that no one take photos of her from behind, and not the fact that her ass has blown up faster than my retirement account.* At least Beyonce knows that if pictures of her wet nether regions are eventually exposed, there's always one place she can turn to for help: Fergie Depends.

*Did you know going from $12 to $6 is a loss of 50%!?

Beyonce leaving Harvey Nichols department store in London (6/9)

I think some celebrities eventually get to a point where they're so damn rich, they're just looking for crazy shit to do to waste their money. Have a car pick me up and take me across the street? Sure, why not? From the London Evening Standard:

Beyonce Knowles had two people carriers and several staff to transport her 14 METRES (46 feet) across the road. The singer made her entire entourage use the cars to cross Knightsbridge from the Mandarin Oriental Hotel to Harvey Nichols. A huge crowd of fans and photographers gathered outside the hotel yesterday and had expected a drawn-out game of cat and mouse through London.

But instead, the cars packed with bodyguards and personal assistants drove a few metres along the road and pulled a U-turn down the other side — a total of just 14 metres — to drop off the 27-year-old. She then stepped out in a jumpsuit, oversized sunglasses and Louis Vuitton sandals to be given a 20-minute guided tour of the department store. The group then returned to the people carriers and made the same trip back to their hotel.

Beyonce needed a car to drive her 46 feet? Bitch probably has closets in her house that are longer than that. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if next week there's an article about her helicopter flights from her bedroom to her bathroom. All of which leads to one important question that still remains unanswered: Does Beyonce pay someone to crumple up 20s to throw at the help, or does she do it herself?

Beyonce and Jay Z leaving a restaurant in Barcelona, Spain (5/20)

+ Rihanna's ass in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Paris denies bathroom humping [DailyFill]
+ Katy Perry Cleavage is Complex (and Egotastic!) [Egotastic!]
+ Yet another Paris Hilton upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Alba's kid finally cracks a smile [Lossip]

+ Ashley Greene bikini pics [NewsToob]
+ Luisa Corna is half-naked [Holy Taco]
+ Camera phone + Boobs = Good Times [Double Viking]
+ Emily Scott is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]