Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel out and about in New York (5/1)

It really doesn't get any worse than two reality stars hooking up with each other, so you can imagine my disgust after reading this story about Bethenny Frankel making out with The Situation. Pardon me, I need to go take a shower with a wire brush. From the National Enquirer:

The embarrassing story began to unfold in October, when a website printed a "blind-item" that read: "Strangest hookup ever...This controversial female married A-list reality star spend a good five minutes making out with this second fiddle reality star who thinks he is way better than he is." On April 21, the site revealed that the subjects of the item were Bethenny and 29-year-old Sorrentino!

"Bethenny has vehemently denied it, calling the rumor 'a lot of B.S.,'" a source at the Bravo network said. But her husband of two years, Jason Hoppy, isn't so sure. "He's been suspicious for some time because of all the problems they've had. Bethenny's marriage to Jason has already been hanging by a thread, and this could finally sink it."

Bethenny is also worried how the rumor could affect her new talk show, which will begin a test run on FOX stations in June. "Getting mixed up with someone like Mike Sorrentino, who has just been through rehab, is the last thing Bethenny needs right now," added the source. "The timing couldn't be worse." (Print Edition - 5/12)

Is this an episode of The Twilight Zone? I think I might have fallen through a wormhole into an alternate universe, because I'm just finding out that there's such a thing as a "reality A-list." I'll admit that there's an interview hierarchy when it comes to fame whores, but calling them "A-list" cheapens the term for people like me. Who's Bethenny Frankel? She's Octomom with jowls and a tighter pussy. Bethenny should consider herself lucky that The Situation is into pig slopping.

That being said, I have a wee problem with some of the other points made in this piece, like calling Jersey Shore second fiddle. Jersey Shore is the biggest reality show of them all. MTV is fist-pumping spin-off after spin-off of that ratings monster. Bethenny Frankel made her bones being the most self-serving attention whore from the entire Real Housewives franchise (aka Real World, But with Parents), and that's saying something. Even Paris Hilton blushes when she watched that show . . . actually, that might just be a flare-up.

*15 Bethenny Frankel pictures total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel bikini candids! (Miami - 2/29)

Here's even more bikini pics of reality star Bethenny Frankel (more here and here) in Miami. She looks a little annoyed to see the paparazzi. And really, who can blame her. After starring on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, The Real Houswives of New York, Bethenny Getting Married?, Skating with the Stars, and Bethenny Ever After, it's pretty clear that she just wants to be left alone. She's like the modern day J.D. Salinger.

*28 Bethenny Frankel bikini candids total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel bikini pics! (Miami - 2/28)

Here's more bikini pics of reality star Bethenny Frankel in Miami (more here). She really does have a ridiculously nice body for a 41-year-old, but again, it's a pity about her neck on up. Such is the cruel cruel nature of creation. It'd be like if God blessed me with a huge cock but also a violent, sociopathic personality that turned off half the women I met. In other words, if I was Chris Brown.

*36 Bethenny Frankel pictures total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel bikini pics! (Miami - 2/27)

Bethenny Frankel is famous for starring in, like, nine reality shows (The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, The Real Houswives of New York, Bethenny Getting Married?, Skating with the Stars, and Bethenny Ever After) and yesterday she was spotted looking skinny as hell in Miami (pay no attention to her face). It's sorta appropriate since she's also the founder of the Skinnygirl line of cocktails. But not as appropriate as my Hugecock line of beef jerky. In stores now!

*42 Bethenny Frankel bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel is lying about her nudity

Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel sat down for an interview this week with Access Hollywood where she talked about reality television and her life. And this matters because . . . ? Because she's a liar liar, pants on fire. She said:

"I haven't ever posed for something trashy naked. I've only ever been naked for PETA or on my show in a natural environment. I have no problem with my boobs or my body. I've fine with that -- but not to be gratuitous about it in something tacky or trashy."

Something tacky or trashy? You mean like the low-budget, straight-to-VHS thriller Hollywood Hills 90028 that your naked tits starred in in 1994? You mean like that Bethenny? Wow, she is a horrible liar. Something she's also bad at: professional rugby.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Bethenny Frankel nude pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*15 photos total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel is naked

The Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel is the latest celeb to go naked for PETA's anti-fur campaign -- I know, I can't believe they got such a huge star either. Her image will be featured on a 58-foot-tall billboard at Broadway and 53rd Street in New York for the next month or so. Bethenny told the New York Post:

"It's so tasteful and beautifully done. I am especially pleased because it doesn't look like there's been any airbrushing, and I was already pregnant when I shot it."

Is this bitch high? If this thing was any more airbrushed, the artist would have signed it. This is what Bethenny really looks like. That PETA ad looks more like Abraham Lincoln than it does her.

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of Bethenny Frankel's nude PETA ad, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Bethenny Frankel at the Apollo Theater 75th Anniversary Gala in New York (6/8)

Holy crap, could this chick embarrass her kids any more? Wasn't appearing on the Real Housewives of New York enough? She has to go and pull this see-through shit? Her kids won't be able to show their faces at school. And I know we've all had parents embarrass us in some way or another, but this is just over the top. The worst my mom ever did was a little meth, but it's almost like, whose mom hasn't dabbled in that?

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

UPDATE: To all the people saying she has no kids. You realize you're admitting that you actually watch the Real Housewives of New York, right? I'd rather have people think that I watch German scat porn than that show.

Real Housewives' Bethenny Frankel topless

You may recognize that plastic figure above as Bethenny Frankel from the Real Housewives of New York. In celebration of the new season -- which debuts tonight -- I scoured the internets for days on end searching for an allusive copy of Hollywood Hills 90028, a beyond-crappy movie Bethenny "starred" in in 1994. Found it. The result: tits. Ta da!

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the thumbnails below and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image. But don't let your boss see you.