Paris and Barron Hilton leaving Teddy's nightclub last year
Barron "
I had my first DUI when I was just 18" Hilton is ready to take the world by storm. Hold your laughter please. According to the
New York Post, Paris' little brother is currently producing an album and is in talks with Viacom to produce a reality show. How original. He told the paper:
"I want to be an international singer-songwriter. I'm sick of all the Hilton stuff, where all anyone cared about was whether I was doing coke in the bathroom or how many [bleeps] I was sleeping with. I'm done with partying and traveling. It's time to get this [bleep] started. [The reality show is] gonna be like 'The Hills,' but real. A lot of that stuff is pre-setup or re-setup. This is gonna show the meetings, the production side, the recording side . . . I just want people to say, 'Wow, this song really moved me, or made me cry.' " (Source)
Newsflash Barron: Your music really is going to "make people cry" . . . as soon as they press "Play." What's hardest to understand about this story is why Barron has decided to give up on partying and banging random sluts. Isn't that the whole reason for becoming a musician in the first place? I'd be inclined to believe that Barron's aspirations were indeed altruistic and not self-serving if it weren't for one minor detail: His last name.
Barron Hilton's mugshot
According to L.A. Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore, Barron Hilton blew a .14 -- nearly twice the legal limit.* Coincidently, Hilton's sister Paris blew 14 guys last night at Les Deux.
*since he's under 21, any blood alcohol level is considered legally drunk
Barron Hilton arrested for DUI
If that headline didn't make you smile, this will: he's only 18. Paris' younger brother Barron was pulled over at 8:30 AM today in Malibu and arrested for DUI . . . AM as in "the morning" . . . he was drunk at 8:30 in the morning. TMZ says:
He's currently in the process of being booked at the Lost Hills Sheriff's station -- the same place Mel Gibson was taken. Police tell TMZ that no drugs or drug paraphernalia were found in Barron Hilton's car or on his person. They say at this point, it does not appear drugs are a factor. (Source)
Good God does this family do anything besides drink and drive? How the hell do any of them even have their licenses? Maybe the driver's test is relative now or something: "Relative to your last test Barron, you hitting nine cones wasn't too bad. And I'm giving you a pass on hitting that guy in the crosswalk since I'm pretty sure he didn't speak English. Oh and two beers was 50% less than you had last time. Congratulations -- you pass!"
NOTE: At least DUIs beat getting mugged
As Paris Hilton was checking into jail early Monday morning her brother, Barron, was being mugged at knifepoint in New York City. At around 4 a.m. 17-year-old Barron and his five underage friends were turned away from New York hotspot Stereo. According to a witness:
"An hour later, two security guards from Stereo were driving by Penn Station on their way home and they saw Barron and his friends. Then they saw two muggers confronting the group, and they all got out. One had a knife and was trying to get money out of the kids. One guy had Barron at knifepoint, and the guards got out and chased away the guy with the knife. The attackers didn't get any money." (Source)
Wait a minute, Paris Hilton has an 18-year-old brother who hasn't died of shame? Well knock me over with a feather. Lemme see here Paris Hilton's sex tape was released in 2004 when Barron was roughly a freshman in high school. Ouch, and I thought I had it bad after my older sister was arrested for "servicing" truckers at that rest stop. Ahh crap, that's actually way worse.
