When epic foreheads collide
Yesterday Jennifer Garner finally confirmed that she's been knocked up by Ben Affleck in another attempt to get the lauded Nobel Prize for "child with biggest forehead." From the New York Post:
"When asked by a USA Today reporter about her upcoming projects, Jen pointed at her bulging bump and said, "This."She then went on to joke, "Oh, I'm not pregnant. I just had a lot of carbs for breakfast. It's just — what do they call it — a breakfast pouch?""
She could spend the rest of her life pregnant but the "bulging bump" she's known for is that monstrosity sitting between her eyebrows and hair. If the sun hit it at the right angle she'd be able to flag down planes and pick up XM radio. Does that thing get HD?
Halle Berry in Malibu on Saturday
Halle Berry finally had her baby. Halle and boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey welcomed 31 pound 7 ounce Clara Stella Berry-Aubry (Wow that just rolls off the tongue) to the world yesterday at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. Clara is already 4 and enjoys playing soccer with her friends and coloring. Well not really but it seems like it. Halle was pregnant so damn long it just seems like her kid should already be in first grade or something. Rosie O'Donnell thinks she had a long pregnancy and I'm pretty sure she's been pregnant since the early 90s . . . right? Please tell me she's been pregnant since the early 90s.
Jennifer Lopez gives birth
Jennifer Lopez gave birth to a baby boy, 6 lbs, and a girl, 5 lbs 7 oz, early this morning in New York. Lopez' manager Simon field told People:
"Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon." (Source)
In a separate statement Lopez announced she would be donating all of her maternity wear to deserving militaries around the world in need of parachutes.
[Getty]
Jennifer Lopez pregnant?
I hope for J-Lo's sake her kid doesn't inherit that ass or she'll have to deliver it via c-section! From today's New York Post:
Jenny from the Block wants to share the good news she's expecting - right here in her hometown. Bronx native Jennifer Lopez, 38, plans to "announce that she and (husband) Marc Anthony are expecting their first child on Saturday night at her Madison Square Garden concert," said an insider. A spy at her concert in Connecticut Wednesday night told us, "a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, and a definitive baby bump was there. She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly." (Source)
I learned from The History Channel that thousands of years ago--with an ass like that--J.Lo certainly would have been the most popular person in all of ancient Greece . . . if she had been a man. Which brings up an interesting (if not disturbing) question: If your girlfriend/wife/kid you baby-sat for had an ass like J.Lo's, would they EVER get pregnant? Of course not!
UPDATE: Yes that was an anal joke--now quit sending me emails . . . I mean you Grandma. That's just gross.
