Recently in Award Shows Category

Kathleen Robertson holding Celebslam sign

Kathleen Robertson (Clare on Beverly Hills, 90210) holding the new Celebslam logo

So I went to the Emmys last night in L.A. (I don't know if you got the memo but I'm a huge star now). Everything was going well until about halfway through when my camera battery died. Well thank god I have this handy backup battery. Oops, left it at home. Kill self? Anyways, my observations:

Heidi Klum: Not as good a kisser as everyone makes her out to be.

Hayden Panettiere: Her boobs definitely look real but feel fake. Very strange.

Teri Hatcher: Staring directly at her face will not -- I repeat, will not -- turn you into stone.

Lauren Conrad: Ummm, why are you here?

I'll be posting the few pics I managed to take through the rest of the day.

Keith Powell’s cool

Keith Powell from 30 Rock

Tom Cruise at the MTV Movie Awards

That's not his pocket

The MTV Movie Awards were last night. People won stuff. Tom Cruise was there. Blah blah blah. Nothing too notable happened. Seth Rogan and James Franco smoked a fake joint on stage. MTV wouldn't zoom in on them even though probably half the people watching at home were high. In a minor miracle, none of the actors winning awards blew themselves on stage.

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The Billboard Latin Music Awards happened

Arrivals to the Billboard Latin Music Awards last night

The Billboard Latin Music Awards are a wonderful thing. They were held last night in Hollywood, Florida. Of course all the big names were there: Natalia Villaveces, Fanny Lu, Maritza Rodriguez, Roser Cabana, and Mildred Quiroz, to name a few. Have I heard of any of those chicks? Of course not. I doubt I could have a conversation with even one of them. But it doesn't matter, love is a language that knows no borders. Except school zones. Specifically, I can't get within 100 yards.

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Caprice and Sophie Anderson at the Fade Awards

Caprice and Sophie Anderson at the Fade Awards in Belfast, Ireland (2/23)

Now this is a red carpet I can appreciate. Screw the boring Academy Awards. "Ohhhh, who are you wearing?!? Tell me who you're wearing!" Thanks for your persistence Ryan Seacrest, now everyone at home knows the designer's name of the dress they'll never be able to afford.

Caprice is busting out Caprice at the Fade Awards Caprice cleavage pics Sophie Anderson at the Fade Awards Sophie Anderson cleavage pics Sophie Anderson is busting out

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Brooke Hogan looks human

Brooke Hogan at The Grammys (2/10)

The Grammys were yesterday and the big surprise of the night was not Amy Winehouse winning awards for Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Album, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Pop Vocal Performance nor Herbie Hancock winning Album of the Year (WTF?) -- but Brooke Hogan . . . looking human. Granted she looks like she just stepped off the 1977 set of Smokey and the Bandit and I'd still rather stick my penis into a cigar cutter -- but at least she doesn't look like a tranny prostitute. See, I can be nice sometimes!

Brooke Hogan at the Grammys Brooke Hogan heavy makeup Brooke Hogan heavy plastic surgery