Avril Lavigne


Avril Lavigne leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood (8/29)

Perhaps to dull the pain that comes with being married to the frontman of Nickelback, Avril Lavigne got so drunk at the Chateau Marmont last Friday that she had to be carried out of the hotel by her friends. Nice. I've had some intense nights of drinking in my day, but even I've never woken up the next morning and needed an exorcism. Avril Lavigne is a fucking bad ass.

*15 Avril Lavigne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Drunk Stumble 1
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Avril Lavigne's new, practical ring

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have too much money. For their one year anniversary, he bought her a 17-carat diamond ring -- 3 carats bigger than her engagement ring. Chad was going to just take Avril out for a nice romantic dinner, but then he remembered that he's the lead singer of Nickelback. You have to make up for that somehow. What a burden.

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Avril Lavigne leaving ABC Studios in New York (11/7)

Hello Kitty. Lots and lots of Hello Kitty. *shudders* Via Contact Music:
Avril Lavigne's Hello Kitty obsession is quickly taking over her house - she has filled three rooms full of cute memorabilia. The pop punk has been collecting soft toys and keepsakes of the Japanese bobtail cat cartoon from her travels around the world for years, but she's struggling to contain her vast collection and she's starting to feel sorry for her new husband, Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger.

She tells U.S. talk show host Katie Couric, "Chad has been so kind because... one room turned into two rooms and now I'm working on a third, literally I have three Hello Kitty rooms and I just turned the office into pink everywhere..."
Hello Kitty? My God, Avril is such a poser. Isn't she supposed to be some sort of punk rock rebel who plays by her own rules? Let me just set the record straight: owning Hello Kitty merchandise when you're a five-year-old girl is adorable, but owning Hello Kitty merchandise as a 29-year-old makes you a full-blown sociopath. Owning three rooms full of that garbage when you're 29-years-old is detestable and should be punishable by being forced to carpool with Chris Brown. Between her obsession with mass-produced children's toys and her love of bland, cookie-cutter "rock" stars, I'm starting to think that Avril is as edgy as a sandwich bag full of diarrhea -- which coincidentally is the name of her new album. Look for A Sandwich Bag Full of Diarrhea by Avril Lavigne on iTunes soon!

*15 Avril Lavigne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Hello Kitty 1
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Avril Lavigne in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (7/20)

If Nickelback's Chad Kroeger is impressed this much by Avril Lavigne, how much must he suck? Trick question. The answer is "a lot." Via Contact Music:
Chad Kroeger says working with fiancee Avril Lavigne is "like taking a bazooka to a knife fight!" The Nickelback singer worked with the 'What The Hell' singer on tracks for her fifth album - a relationship that proved so fruitful it has led to them becoming engaged - and was blown away by her vocal ability from the start.

He exclusively told BANG Showbiz: "It's easier to write for somebody who has got a vocal range like she's got. It's ridiculous how high she can go. She just opens up her throat and it goes higher and higher - and it's amazing, it's like taking a bazooka to a knife fight!"
Yeah, working with Avril is like bringing a bazooka to a knife fight, assuming of course that the bazooka shoots poser douchebaggery and calls it music. Good God, even using the phrase "bazooka to a knife fight" makes me cringe with embarrassment. Chad and Avril's soft rock horseshit are so similarly bland that they really are meant for each other. If we all got together and crowned them "Super Rock Couple of the Century," can we go ahead and deport them back to Canada or Afghanistan or wherever the hell we won't hear from them again? Anywhere except America is fine with me.

*25 Avril Lavigne bikini pictures total in the gallery:

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Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger out and about in Paris (8/21)

I didn't even know these two were dating, but Avril Lavigne is now engaged to Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. It's a match made in shitty music heaven. If they have a daughter, she'll sound just like Rebecca Black. From People:
Lavigne, 27, and Kroeger, 37, first got together in February to co-write a song for Lavigne's upcoming fifth studio album. "A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together," a Lavigne pal tells People.

On Aug. 8, Kroeger popped the question, presenting Lavigne with a 14-carat diamond sparkler. "He makes her so happy," a family source tells PEOPLE. "Both of their families could not be more excited."
This is a gift from the poseur gods. Avril Lavigne, the queen of the pseudo punk movement, is marrying the guy who's such a non-rock guy that even Kid Rock gets the douche chills when his music comes on. Chris Daughtry has better musical cred than this hack. I'll admit that a union between Avril and Chad will be great for me personally, but is this what passes for news in Canada these days? I think America might want to reexamine our relationship with our maple syrup-slurping neighbors to the north. I'll admit that Canada has come through for us in the past with Pamela Anderson and their excellent ginger ale, but they've also given us Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. Canada, consider yourselves on double secret probation.

*10 Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Chad Kroeger  1
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Avril Lavigne arriving on a flight at LAX airport (7/23)

+ Slow motion bikini hula hoop! [BroBible]

+ Pics of Kristen Stewart cheating [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jessica Biel gets bootylicious for Leno [Popoholic]
+ Keira Knightley upskirt (site NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Lindsay Lohan . . . in bed [Caught on Set]

+ Jennifer Aniston finally comes to her senses [Cele|bitchy]
+ Mariah Carey is wasting no time [Evil Beet]
+ What the fuck is that thing? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
+ Jersey Shore fued! [I'm Not Obsessed]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: The sexiest beach volleyball Olympians

*10 Avril Lavigne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Lollipop 1
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Avril Lavigne is being all edgy again

Avril Lavigne did an interview with Extra at The Grove in Hollywood yesterday -- which, mind you, will air on television, and she made sure to wear her finest "FUCK" necklace. Societal rules? Hah! Avril Lavigne laughs at your societal rules!

In related news, "edgy" Avril Lavigne is worth $75 million and probably has, like, five accountants on payroll.

*40 Avril Lavigne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Necklace 1
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Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, January 31

Avril Lavigne arriving at Koi restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Maria Menounos arriving to the set of Extra at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Mila Kunis leaving Coffee Bean in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Taylor Swift at a flea market in Ventura, CA (pics start here)

Cheryl Burke arriving at Madeo restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Pixie Lott leaving Daybreak Studios in London (pics start here)

Lana Del Rey arriving back at her hotel in Paris, France (pics start here)

Ginnifer Goodwin, Eion Bailey, and Jennifer Morrison filming Once Upon a Time in Vancouver (pics start here)

Miranda Kerr arriving at the Sydney Opera House in Australia (pics start here)

Kate Winslet arriving for a flight at Heathrow airport in London (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon returning to her hotel in London (pics start here)

Keira Knightley at the gala premiere of A Dangerous Method in London (pics start here)

Kim Kardashian arriving at an office building in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Jorge Garcia and Sarah Jones filming Alcatraz in Vancouver (pics start here)

*121 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Lavigne Middle Finger Salute 1
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Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner split up

One of the great love affairs of our time is over. Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne have split up. I know, right? If they couldn't make it, there's literally no chance for the rest of us. From Life & Style:
"They decided to end their relationship," a source tells Life & Style. "It wasn't working out, and they wanted to go their separate ways."

According to friends, the main reason is that they didn't see eye to eye when it came to marriage.

"She wanted to settle down, but he wasn't exactly ready," another source tells Life & Style. "They had been having problems starting in the summer with her tour because she was on the road all the time. It put a strain on their relationship."
Avril Lavigne and Brody Kardashian are no longer an item? I wish I could be the first person to say "well woopty damn do," but that honor belongs to everyone who heard about the break-up. This union probably wasn't the out-and-out fraud that was the Kim Kardashian fiasco, but it was definitely a desperate publicity agent's wet dream. Avril, enough with the phony relationships, get back in the studio and make music that sucks less.

*11 Avril Lavigne pictures total in the gallery:

  • Avril Brody Break Up 1
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Brody Jenner arriving at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday night

Avril Lavigne got her boyfriend Brody Jenner's ass kicked on Sunday morning. After starting a fight -- as annoying drunk chicks tend to do -- with another group of revelers at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, Avril left Brody to take care of business. And by "take care of business" I mean someone smashed a bottle over his head. From TMZ:
According to our sources, Avril got into a dust-up shortly before 1:00 AM at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel with [an unknown girl]. We're told when Brody tried to intervene ... he took a bottle to the head from someone for his troubles.

Law enforcement sources tell us hotel security broke up the fight and detained Brody and others involved. Police were called to the hotel and when all was said and done ... we're told the police report listed Brody as the victim of an assault with a deadly weapon.

Our sources say Brody was the only one involved who spoke to police -- the other combatants (including Avril) had split by the time they arrived. We're told Brody refused medical attention and went to the hospital on his own.
Is it fair to say that Avril Lavigne is finished? I mean, come on. When was the last time anyone said "I can't wait until the new Avril album drops." Now things have gotten so bad that she's dating the help and staging fake fights. Speaking of fake, we at Celebslam wish Brody Kardashian a speedy recovery. I have no doubt that he'll be back on his feet doing absolutely nothing again in no time. Oh, and as for the "unknown girl," the check is in the mail.

UPDATE: Apparently it was a guy that hit Brody, not a girl. OK that makes sense, as most chicks in Hollywood are already drugged an unconscious by that time of the night:
The guy who hit Brody Jenner with a beer bottle Sunday morning was talking a LOT of trash before things got violent ... even calling BJ a "douche" ... this according to a witness. Brody DID jaw back at the drunk guy ... but we're told BJ did NOT strike first. Sources say ... when the guy hit Brody with the bottle, his friends rushed in and attacked both BJ and Avril, who happened to be standing next Brody at the time.
These guys were probably just distraught over Kim's divorce. It's not Brody's fault. Dammit, there's nothing he could have done about it.

*10 Brody Jenner pictures total in the gallery:

  • Brody Jenner Hospital 1
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