+ Katy Perry needs to show more boobage [Celebuzz]
+ Helena Christensen is semi-NSFW [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Holy crap Amber Heard is hot [Popoholic]
+ Sexy drunk girl dodgeball! [Linkiest]
+ Poppy Montgomery is freaking hot [Caught on Set]
+ Abigail Clancy 's peek-a-boo cleavage [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Nose picker outed! [Busted Coverage]
+ Is Kate Upton the hottest chick on earth? [Brobible]
+ Justin Timberlake has nailed some hot ass this year [moejackson]
+ Kelly Kelly in a bikini bikini [CityRag]
+ What a douche bag [Socialite Life]
+ Basketball strippers to the rescue! [Yeeeah!]
+ Justin Bieber never met that ho [popbytes]
*17 Arnold Schwarzenegger pictures total in the gallery:
Arnold Schwarzenegger out and about in Brentwood (9/11)
It's a well known fact that if Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't fuck at least one 275+ pound housekeeper a week, his face begins to melt. He must be going through a dry spell
*13 Arnold Schwarzenegger pictures total in the gallery:
Figured I'd start the day off by throwing a little bone to all the female Celebslam fans out there. So there's Arnold Schwarzenegger's sexy ass leaving the Brentwood Country Mart on Sunday. Nom Nom Nom. Damn, Arnold's attacking that ice cream cone like it's an overweight housekeeper.
*26 Arnold Schwarzenegger pictures total in the gallery:
Maria Shriver leaving the AT&T store in Santa Monica (6/22)
There's bad financial decision and then there's what Maria Shriver did earlier this month. From the Chicago Sun Times:
According to one of Maria Shriver’s closest friends, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s future ex-wife would not accept the reported $15 million advance publishers supposedly are throwing her way.
“Maria will never write a book about their breakup — no matter how much she’s offered. Her family’s privacy — and especially her intense devotion to protecting her children — is her primary concern, as it always has been,” said the Shriver insider.
Turning down $15 million to write about how hurt you were by your husband going raw dog on a fat chick is almost as bad a decision as actually going raw dog on a fat chick. Then again, Arnold did marry Maria -- who sometimes looks like this -- so he's prone to making bad decisions.
Arnold Schwarzenegger leaving Cafe Roma in Beverly Hills (6/25)
*throws bundled up wad of 100s at each other* . . . From the National Enquirer:
It was Oprah Winfrey who urged Maria [Shriver] to walk!
“Arnold had totally believed he could convince Maria to stay with him, and that she wouldn’t have left without encouragement,” said a family friend. “He thought the ‘leave the creep’ advice had come from Maria’s cousin/main family confidant, Robert Kennedy Jr., but a mutual friend says Maria confided it was Oprah she first unburdened her secret to - and Oprah told her to get out of Dodge! Now Arnold wants revenge on Oprah, and badly, for meddling in his family affairs.”
It's not every day that you get to see two of Hollywood's elite go at it. Frankly, I wouldn't know who to support. Do I root for the misogynistic serial philanderer who fathered a child with his housekeeper out of wedlock and kept it secret from his wife for more than a decade? Or the talk show host who's brainwashed more American women than De Beers. Tough call.
*10 Arnold Schwarzenegger pictures total in the gallery:
Since the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal broke last month, Patty Baena has been noticeably quiet about her affair with the former governor of California. That all changed this week ($$$$$$$) when she and love child Joseph did a photoshoot ($$$$$$$) and interview ($$$$$$$) for HELLO! magazine:
"It was as Joseph grew and I started to see the resemblance that I wondered - but It became more apparent as time went on."
You know what made it especially apparent? WHEN HE FUCKED YOU WITHOUT A CONDOM.
"I knew Arnold was the father, and maybe as Joseph got older and began to look like him, he [Arnold] wondered. But he never said anything to me."
A gentleman would never broach such a topic with a lady.
"[Maria] would say things like, 'I'm here if you need to talk.' I sensed something was up. I have so much love and respect for Maria."
Well yeah, clearly. For those people you don't respect -- do you fuck their husbands, too?
"Finally, she asked point blank. She was so strong. She cried with me and told me to get off my knees. We held each other and I told her it wasn't Arnie's fault, that it takes two."
I don't think you had to remind her that you're a whore.
"[Arnold's] a good man and I know he's suffering too. He loves Maria. I hope with time they work things out."
Someone help me out here. Is "Maria" the Spanish word for "anything with a pussy"?
Why Arnold, WHYYYYYYYYY!!!! From Sandra Bernhard's interview with PopEater:
"In the '70s when I moved to LA I was on the beach by Gold's Gym. I was young and skinny as a stick, staring at the ocean, dreaming of the future, and Arnold [Schwarzenegger] came up to me and he was hitting on me. I don't date Germans so nothing happened. But I love Maria Shriver. All these years it's been, what is she thinking? It's the Kennedy tragedy. Just to keep it going."
By most accounts, Arnold's been a complete poon hound for the past 30 to 40 years. Everywhere you turn, women are demonizing this guy for being a sex-crazed maniac. That being said, I don't care how how "young and skinny" Sandra Bernhard was, even a horndog like Arnold wouldn't hit on that hosebeast. If Arnold really was into the type of woman whose face looked like it caught on fire and was put out with an icepick, he never would have separated from Maria.
Since news broke last week that Arnold Schwarzenegger knocked up THAT THING, the story has been that she retired from her housekeeper position on amicable terms this January. C'mon, did you really think it'd be that easy? From the New York Daily News:
Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby mama had hoped to stay in her housekeeping job at the "Terminator" star's family home through 2015, according to a source. When the affair was still a secret, Mildred "Patty" Baena had no immediate plans to quit her position as a trusted family maid, despite having an affair with the married former California governor - and giving birth to his love child.
"She said she planned to retire in about five or six years. Definitely not this fast," a source involved in the 2010 closing of Baena's Bakersfield, Calif., home said. "She said she was tired of living in apartments and wanted someplace bigger for her son."
The revelation about Baena's long-term career plans calls into question reports that she left the family's staff in January on good terms and with a severance package. Around then, Schwarzenegger, 63, stepped down from his political post and reportedly admitted to his wife, Maria Shriver, that he had an affair.
When Patty left in January she received a "severance package"? Actually, a much better description of what she was given would be "child support" "hush money." Looking at things from a glass half full perspective, there's one bright side to this whole embarrassing situation: At least now Charlie Sheen knows he's not the only guy in Hollywood that pays women to leave after he's had sex with them.
Arnold Schwarzenegger in his famous 1977 documentary Pumping Iron
This shit just keeps getting better and better. Turns out Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child was born just five days after his son Christopher in 2007. Oh my god -- they could totally be BFFs! From the New York Daily News:
Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper separated from her husband in 1997 - just three weeks after her reported love child with her boss was born. Court paper say they had no children.
According to a birth certificate, [Patty] Baena's son was born Oct. 2, three weeks before the separation, which they blamed on "irreconcileable differences."
Schwarzenegger's second son with Shriver, Christopher, was born Sept. 27.
In Arnold's defense, he did knock up Maria almost a week before he knocked up Patty. So, you know, it's not like he didn't give her first dibs. Yet still, she complains.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress Patty Baena and their son
You're looking at Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress Patty Baena and the couple's illegitimate son. You're also looking at the first post with its own exclusive email address for hate mail: celebslam.hate.mail@gmail.com. Fire away.
Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: