Angelina Jolie

Kirsten Dunst leaving a yacht in Cannes (5/17)

If you're pale and ugly, it generally doesn't help your cause in life to also be annoying. Yet still, Kirsten Dunst somehow has friends. Via Contact Music:

Brad Pitt and his long-time partner Angelina Jolie were disturbed by Kirsten Dunst's "rowdy all-night lock in" at the Eden Roc Hotel in Cannes this week, reports the UK's Daily Mirror. While Brad Pitt and Jolie attempted to get some shut-eye, Dunst "howled along" to the Rolling Stones hit 'Sympathy For The Devil'.

The 28-year-old 'Spiderman' star partied into the night with a group of A-listers, before staff requested they keep the noise levels down. A source at the bash said, "The group, which included Jon Ham and Vanessa Hudgens, was stomping their feet and jumping on tables. All the while, bar staff patiently waited for them to quit". After the Hollywood stars continued their party, security asked the group to pipe down "as they were disturbing Brangelina", who are staying in a private villa in the grounds of the hotel.

What are Brad and Angelina so upset about? It's not like they need their beauty sleep. If these two were going to get so upset about the noise from the other hotel guests, they should have stayed somewhere more private in the first place. Someplace where they wouldn't be heard or seen by anyone -- like on a luxurious private yacht or The CW.

*10 Kirsten Dunst pictures total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie at the 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel (1/16)

Angelina Jolie was having the hardest time figuring out what to wear to last night's Golden Globes, but just her luck, she found an old box in the attic with a bunch of her grandmother's dresses. Score!

*30 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie's ass is amazing

An unreleased production still of Angelina Jolie from her 2008 film Wanted just hit the internets, finally putting an end to rumors that her ass isn't completely awesome in every imaginable way. Seriously, if that thing was any hotter, you wouldn't be able to stare directly at it.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Angelina Jolie ass picture, click the picture above and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*1 Angelina Jolie picture total in the gallery:

The most painfully unfunny interview of 2010

Chelsea Handler -- who was one of the attendees of Jennifer Aniston's "Sycophant Summit 2010" in Mexico over Thanksgiving weekend -- had some harsh things to say about Angelina Jolie at a comedy club in New Jersey over the weekend. When asked to comment, one audience member said, "I don't get it. Is she a comedian? Is the fact that nothing she says is funny what's supposed to be funny? I'm confused." From Us Weekly:

During a stand-up comedy show in Newark, NJ over the weekend, Handler -- new BFF to Jennifer Aniston, 41 -- went on a foul-mouthed rant against Angelina Jolie.

"She's a homewrecker, she is," Handler, 35, said of Jolie, the current of love of Aniston's ex Brad Pitt. "She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don't f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, 'I don't have a lot of female friends.' Because you're a f***ing c***. You're a f***ing b***h!"

Oh man, Angelina is gonna be so pissed when she hears about this . . . especially if she has Google and can look up who the fuck Chelsea Handler actually is.

NOTE: Weird, I type in Chelsea's name on Wikipedia and it redirects me to this page.

*10 Chelsea Handler and Jay Leno pictures total in the gallery:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on the set of her new film in Budapest (10/17)

+ Brooklyn Decker's ass in a bikini (site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ About damn time this chick went on a crash diet [IDLYITW]
+ Vanessa Hudgens is in a bikini [Celebuzz]
+ Mischa Barton has nipples (site NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Rihanna's getting fat [Just Jared]

+ OH DEAR GOD! [Dlisted]
+ President Obama's going to be on Mythbusters [PopEater]
+ Ashley Tisdale as a brunette is still boring [Derek Hail]
+ Miley Cyrus confronts the paparazzi -- again [Evil Beet]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 Awesome Vanity Plates

*25 Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie at the German premiere of Salt in Berlin (8/18)

I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure it's not healthy when your forearm is the same size as your wrist. Luckily I don't have that problem. My right forearm is HUGE. And no, it's not because of what you're thinking. It's huge because I'm a heavy masturbator. Wait, you were thinking it was because of all my volunteer work with Habitat for Humanity, right?

*25 pictures total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp on the set of The Tourist at the Piazzale della Stazione in Venice, Italy (3/17)

Be afraid Johnny Depp's longtime girlfriend Vanessa Paradis, be very very afraid. Hmmmm, how best to break this to you . . . have you ever seen one of those nature shows on Discovery Channel about Africa? Basically, your boyfriend Johnny is the rotting dead corpse of a wildebeest and Angelina Jolie is a hungry slut lion. From the National Enquirer:

Angelina Jolie, now dazzling audiences worldwide as a sizzling superspy, got one heckuva surprise rise out of sex god Johnny Depp on the set of their new flick "The Tourist" -- stunning him with a sudden passionate kiss that was definitely NOT in the script!

Said my witness: "Angelina's flirtatious behavior with Johnny had the set buzzing. She tried hard to make him react to her charms, but he ignored every attention-getting ploy. During an emotional scene in which she's supposed to fall into his comforting arms after intense conversation, Angie made her move. Instead of putting her head on Johnny's chest, she improvised -- wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a romantic, lingering kiss. Johnny pushed Jolie away gently, but his shocked expression revealed she'd finally rattles his cage!" Quickly taking her aside, he asked why she'd changed the scene without consulting him. Smirking coyly, Jolie said the scene needed to be "spicier!" Depp kept cool, but told her firmly: "The scene was better the way it was written -- and that's the way we're going to do it!"

After the reshoot, Angie shot Johnny a sexy "Gotcha!" smile before sashaying off. Said my source: "Depp was immediately assured by producers that Angie's lip lock will never see the light of the day."

Viewing this from another angle, Brad Pitt has nothing to worry about. Angelina seducing a famous romantically-attached actor while working with him on the set of a film was just a one-time thing. I'm sure for the first time in her 35-years of life, she actually likes having sex with the same person day-after-day-after-day-after-day and isn't get bored whatsoever. The real question here is how Johnny was able to resist her advances? Either that guy's had so much poon thrown in his face that he's become immune to it or he's gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

*10 photos total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, July 23

Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

Dule Hill and James Roday (Psych) at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

Maggie Lawson (Psych) at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie leaving Voyeur nightclub together in West Hollywood (pics start here)

David Boreanaz on the set of Bones in L.A. (pics start here)

Isabel Lucas at the premiere of The Wedding Party at the Melbourne International Film Festival (pics start here)

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas promoting the fundraising campaign for the Noah's Ark Appeal Charity at Cardiff hospital in England (pics start here)

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz filming an episode of Top Gear at their test track in Surrey, UK (pics start here)

English actress Samia Smith (Coronation Street) arriving to Granada Studios in Manchester, UK (pics start here)

Will Ferrell at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

Eva Longoria leaving Toast in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

Halle Berry and her assistants leaving Toast in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Tiffani Thiessen, Matt Bomer, and Tim Dekay (White Collar) at Comic-Con in San Diego (pics start here)

*123 photos total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie's sexy new tattoo

No, this is not a repeat of last week's story. From the New York Daily News:

The 35-year-old actress flashed a new tattoo on her inner thigh in the August issue of Vanity Fair, a week after premiering some new swirls on her arm at the Mexican premiere of "Salt."

Jolie’s new ink was exposed when she posed in short shorts for the fashion magazine's cover spread.

"Um, it's for Brad," she told MTV News when asked about the body art.

Angelina got a tattoo on her inner thigh just for Brad? For her uterus' sake, let's hope it says "Wear a condom." Seriously, that thing needs a rest. I bet if doctors removed it, it'd look like one of those abandoned islands in the Pacific where the military tests weapons.

*10 pictures total in the gallery:

Angelina Jolie got new ink

Angelina Jolie's body doesn't need more tattoos -- it needs more nude scenes. From the New York Daily News:

The "Salt" star showed off a new set of tattoos at the premiere of her latest movie in Cancun, Mexico. As she waved at the crowds last week, Jolie flashed two new swirly bits of ink around an old Roman numeral tattoo.

The 35-year-old actress reportedly had the Roman number 13 inked on her left arm because she doesn't believe in superstition. She later added V MCMXL to the end of it to signify the date of Winston Churchill's famous speech on May 13, 1940 in which he said: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."

Though swirl tattoos can have a variety of meanings, Jolie's could be a Tibetan "heading" swirl, which acts to accentuate the importance of a character. The fact that it sits over both halves of the Roman numeral tattoo could mean the actress simply wants to underscore its meaning.

The saddest part about this story is the fact that for the next three decades, "news" outlets will be trying to interpret the hidden meaning behind these dumb tattoos. Here's a hint: they don't mean anything deep or esoteric -- they mean she likes pain and having a constant reminder of a mistake she made when she was younger . . . so sort of like having a kid.

*14 photos total in the gallery: