Angelina Jolie

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Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt

So Angelina Jolie just filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Apparently the two had some major differences in their belief systems -- Brad believed he should be able to fuck Marion Cotillard and Angelina believed he shouldn't. From the New York Post:
Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt after learning he was cheating on her with his sexy co-star, a well-placed source told The Post on Tuesday.

"She hired a private eye because she felt that he was fooling around with her on the set, and it turns out, he was. And that was the final straw," the source said.

Pitt, 52, had been rumored to have been cozying up to his "Allied'' co-star Marion Cotillard, 40, for months during the pair's filming of the World War II drama in London. The PI discovered that was Pitt cheating on his wife of two years with Cotillard -- while also partying like a single guy on a mission, the source said.

"The atmosphere [off-set] was full of hard drugs and Russian hookers, and Angie was told Brad got caught up in it," the source said. "He's in the throes of some insane midlife crisis, and Angie is fed up."
But wait a minute, when Brad cheated on his wife Jennifer Aniston with Angelina, he told her that was it. No more cheating. He had found his one true love. Are you trying to tell me he didn't actually mean that and cheated on his wife again. Well knock me over with a feather because I did not see that once coming. If we can't believe men who've already cheated on their wives when they say they're not going to cheat again, who can we believe? My world is upside down right now.

In other news, Jennifer Aniston just locked Justin Theroux in the bathroom for the next year because Angelina Jolie is single.


Angelina Jolie at the premiere of Kung Fu Panda 3 at the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (1/16)

Angelina Jolie's New Year's Resolution this year was to eat something -- anything. Still has 347 days to make that happen!

*30 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Holy Shit Skinny 1
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Paparazzi photos from Thursday, January 8

Pope Francis and Angelina Jolie meeting at the Vatican (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon on her way to her office in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Sophie Simmons leaving Alfred Cafe at Melrose Place in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Emmanuelle Chriqui arriving at LAX airport (pics start here)

Kelly Brook leaving a nail salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Taraji P. Henson at the premiere of Empire at the ArcLight Cinerama Dome in Hollywood (pics start here)

Emily Blunt arriving at BBC Radio 2 studios in London (pics start here)

Elisabetta Canalis leaving Mauro's Cafe at Fred Segal on Melrose in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jesse Metcalfe and Cara Santana shopping at Decades on in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Justin Bieber out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Shannen Doherty and Holly Marie Combs promoting their new reality show Off the Map with Shannen & Holly at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Kirstie Alley leaving her hotel in Manhattan (pics start here)

*107 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Pope Francis 1
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Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, December 10

Angelina Jolie on the set of Unbroken in Sydney, Australia (pics start here)

English actress Jasmin Walia (The Only Way is Essex) at the Aladdin celebrity press night at the New Wimbledon Theatre in London (pics start here)

Olivia Munn leaving Craig's restaurnat in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Evangeline Lilly at the European premiere of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug in Berlin, Germany (pics start here)

Selma Blair out and about in Studio City (pics start here)

Shakira arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Nicole Scherzinger arriving at C London restaurant in Mayfair, London (pics start here)

Amy Smart leaving a coffee shop in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Katy Perry leaving 34 restaurant in Mayfair, London (pics start here)

Taylor Lautner and his girlfriend Marie Avgeropoulos leaving the Jay-Z concert at the Staples Center in L.A. (pics start here)

Charlize Theron arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Directing Unbroken 1
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Angelina Jolie bought an island

Angelina Jolie is apparently buying Brad Pitt a $20 million island for his 50th birthday. It's on Lake Mahopac in New York and it would make an amazing secret prison for children . . . I mean, if you're into that sort of thing. From the Mirror:
Angelina, 38, was particularly excited after discovering its two homes were designed by Brad's favourite architect Frank Lloyd Wright. Petra Island is a mere 50 miles north of New York City and has its own helicopter landing pad, plus it's of course accessible from the mainland by boat. Two dwellings sit on the island - a 1,200-square-foot cottage, and a 5,000-square-foot main residence which is nothing short of an architectural masterpiece. The island itself is 11 acres in size and is situated on New York's very private Lake Mahopac.

A source revealed: "As soon as Angelina heard the island was on the market she arranged a viewing. She was really impressed. The house is perfect for romantic getaways or as a family retreat. It's very private. And Angelina knows the fact the island is in the shape of a heart will mean so much to him."
Now THAT is how the one percenters prepare for the zombie apocalypse, bitches. While the rest of us mouth breathers are canning peaches and stockpiling WW2-era weaponry in crawl spaces, Angelina bought herself her own goddamn fantasy island -- complete with guest home, heated swimming pool, and, rumor has it, a private Los Angeles-class attack submarine painted in gold (just like her Oscar and dildo collection). Recession? Who says we're still in a recession? Actually, that application I just filled out at Walmart says so, for starters.

*15 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Bought Island 1
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Angelina Jolie shopping in Gold Coast, Australia (10/27)

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I think Angelina Jolie's arms may be possessed and/or a manifestation of Lucifer himself. We may have to douse her with holy water from the Jordan River.

*15 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Skin Bones 1
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Angelina Jolie leaving David Jones department store in Sydney, Australia (9/26)

The Presidential Suite at the InterContinental Hong Kong may be $12k/night, but does it come with free semen on the bedspread and a Bible in the nightstand? Gimme the Holiday Inn any day of the week. From Life & Style:
Life & Style has learned that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spent $12,468 a night on the Presidential Suite of China's five-star InterContinental Hong Kong hotel for a recent three-day stay. The 7,000-square-foot pad boasts five bedrooms, a living room with floor-to-ceiling windows, kitchenette, private study, gym and 24-hour personal butler service for those late-night requests!

Despite the A-list amenities, Brad, 49, and Angelina, 38, didn't stay holed up. "Brad stopped into a Chinese coffee shop called Maxims for tea while Angie went shopping with the kids," an eyewitness tells the new issue of Life & Style, on stands now. "They all looked like they were having a great time."
This isn't a story. Of course Brad and Angie had a good time in Communist China. While the great unwashed get herded into tourist traps like Disney World and running the pickpocket's gauntlet we lovingly call Times Square, we one percenters are taking holidays in countries with abysmal human rights records -- because we can, bitches. Sure, the Chinese might have a billion citizens living under the poverty line, but classy peeps like the Pitt-Jolies and myself don't ever come within 10 miles of them due to our government-provided security details. Think of us next time you're corralling that giant waterbug out of your $20-a-night motel room. We'll probably be in some Congolese or Cuban 5 star hotel, eating hors d'oeuvres made from baby seal earlobes.  

*5 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Brad Angelina Presidential Suite 1
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Zahara Jolie-Pitt cleaning a hotel room window in Sydney, Australia (9/7)

It's one thing for Angelina Jolie to adopt a kid from Ethiopia to bring the world's attention to the plight of orphans in developing nations, but it's another thing entirely to adopt one because you need some extra help around the house. This is simply outrageous.

*10 Zahara Jolie-Pitt pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Kids
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  • Brad Pitt Kids
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Angelina Jolie arriving on a flight at LAX airport (8/15)

Angelina Jolie seems like she'd be all uptight, but nope. She's actually cool as hell and I may have to start stalking her:
According to The Sun, the pair recently rented the Calabogie Motorsports Park in Canada and spent the day racing each other in Mustangs and Porsches before switching to motorbikes. A source revealed:

"Angie flew to Canada to scope out some potential filming venues for her movie Unbroken a couple of weeks ago. Brad and the kids went too but they vowed to get some couple time together during the trip so they booked out Calabogie racetrack for a day ... Neither of them have driven fast cars or motorbikes for some time. They haven't even flown Angie's private plane so it really got their adrenaline going and they both loved it."
Damn it, I hate when I shit on celebrities who turn out to be pretty damn cool -- and racing cars and motorbikes is pretty damn cool. Between that and buzzing the control towers on aircraft carriers with the fancy jet they recently purchased, Brad and Angie are pretty much living life as if they're doing a movie of my daydreams. Now, if these two all of a sudden start fighting crime as if the Punisher and Batman teamed up, then I'll have to say that Brangelina must have implanted a chip in my brain . . . or my psychotic break is finally happening. Wait, why are all these spiders crawling on me?

*20 Angelina Jolie pictures total in the gallery:

  • Angelina Jolie Outfit Pics
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  • Angelina Jolie Airport Photos
  • Angelina Jolie Fashion Images
  • Angelina Jolie Outfit Candids
  • Angelina Jolie With Maddox