Amy Winehouse out and about in London (10/29)
Honestly, the only thing worse than this next story was the Holocaust. If you have a weak stomach, you can just go ahead and not read it. From the
Mirror.
Mitch Winehouse has rubbished claims that his daughter Amy went to hospital the other day for a cold - revealing it was due to her new boobs going pop.
Telegraphing the news on his Living TV show, Mitch said: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (pointing to his chest) leaky something or other."
A friend of Amy's adds: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."
*concentrates hard* Unicorns, Kittens, Flowers, Bunnies, Rainbows, Babies, Puppies . . . I'm never gonna get the image of puss oozing out of Amy Winehouse's tits out of my head . . . Unicorns, Kittens, Flowers, Bunnies, Rainbows, Babies, Puppies . . . Ah, fuck it. *sets self on fire*
Amy Winehouse out and about in London (11/5)
Amy Winehouse has a new addiction: plastic surgery. Which is way safer than crack . . . wait a minute, that guy that operated on Kanye's mom lost his license, right? OK, good. From
The Sun:
Friends and family of Amy Winehouse are trying to talk her out of more plastic surgery - after she set her heart on having a nose job. The Rehab singer, 26, went under the knife last month to have her bust boosted from a 32B to a 32D. Now she says the tip of her nose is "witch like" and wants it fixed.
A source said: "Since her boobs, she's been scrutinizing her body. Everyone tells her there's nothing wrong with her nose. But Amy does nothing by halves. Now she's beaten drugs, plastic surgery must not become her next obsession."
Amy's right. There is a part of her body between her ears that needs to be fixed -- but it's not her nose. Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that a woman with such an addictive personality became hooked on something. The bottom line is don't be surprised next month when Amy moves on to something even more addicting -- like
World of Warcraft or
Desperate Housewives.*
*Oh my god! Did you see what Gabby was wearing last week?! *squeels*
Amy Winehouse leaving The Hawley Arms Pub in London (11/10)
I don't know who the doctor was that gave Amy Winehouse breast implants, but it seems like he should have his license revoked. Or stabbed in the eye with a red hot poker and then drawn and quartered just to the point where he doesn't pass out and then stabbed in the other eye with a red hot poker. Definitely one of those two.
Amy Winehouse leaving Gaucho restaurant in London (10/26)
You didn't think that picture of Amy Winehouse
from yesterday could get worse? You were wrong my friend. So so wrong. Hmmm, how best to describe these without you actually clicking on them . . . you know that awful feeling you get in your stomach the moment you realize you're about to be violently raped by a prison gang you thought you were cool with because you gave them the chocolate chip cookies your girlfriend brought you during her last visit but it turns out they never actually ate them because they're vegan and the chocolate chips had milk in them and vegans can't have milk and who the fuck has ever heard of a vegan prison gang? Well these pictures aren't anything like that. I mean, dude, trust me, nothing is worse than an ol' fashioned prison gangraping.
Nothing. Now that I think about it, maybe that wasn't the best example.
NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of
Amy Winehouse's boobs, click the headline pic and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or
bottom of the image.
Amy Winehouse leaving Fish Works restaurant in London (10/14)
You'll have to excuse the stains on Amy's shirt. Last night was the first time she used silverware at a nice restaurant instead of her hands. Forks and spoons can be pretty tricky if you're not used to them.
Amy Winehouse leaving a Harley Street Clinic in London (10/10)
This now brings her to a solid "1" in my opinion. From the
Daily Mail:
She is said to have spent £35,000 on a procedure to give herself a more curvaceous figure. But if so, it appears that the effects of Amy Winehouse’s reported spell under the surgeon’s knife have fallen somewhat flat.
The star is said to have undergone a breast enhancement last week at a top Harley Street clinic in preparation for her appearance last night on BBC show Strictly Come Dancing. However, there appeared to be no noticeable difference to her chest when the soul singer was spotted leaving the clinic yesterday morning.
The North London star apparently checked into the clinic, famed for performing cosmetic procedures, at the beginning of last week before allegedly having the operation on Wednesday.
I don't see what the big deal is about this. So Amy wanted bigger tits? That's her choice . . . totally kidding of course. The real reason she had the procedure done is clear: Vicodin! Next week she's actually getting her wisdom teeth pulled . . .
for the fifth time.
NOTE: If Amy really wants a "more curvaceous figure" she doesn't need a boob job, she needs to eat.
NOTE II: It isn't Amy's chest that needs fixing -- its
her teeth.
NOTE III: The real problem with Amy spending thousands to improve her appearance is that it
sends the wrong message to her young fans means she'll have less cash for meth.
NOTE IV: Seriously, I could go on all day with these.
Amy Winehouse's Nasty Yellow Teeth Amy Winehouse has gross teeth
Amy Winehouse leaving PizzaExpress Jazz Club in London (9/17)
Amy Winehouse spit on a little girl on Monday. I'll just let the impact of that sentence sink in for a minute of two . . . Ready? OK. From
RadarOnline:
The children at North London's Southgate school in Barnet Monday got a celebrity visitor: an infuriated Amy Winehouse, who was on the warpath, headed toward a girl she believed to be the bully of her 13-year-old goddaughter, Dionne Bromfield.
Winehouse, 26, showed she can put a middle school bully in her place, spitting on and insulting her goddaughter's supposed torturer. A bystander eventually broke up the incident, at which point Amy signed a few autographs and took off.
Aw gross. Can you think of anything more disgusting than women voting? . . . uh, oops, Freudian slip. Wait, what were we talking about again?
Amy Winehouse leaving The Queens Pub in London (8/20)
Amy Winehouse should just stick to music. She tried baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies the other night but ended up spilling flour everywhere! What a klutz!
Amy Winehouse leaving a dentist's office in London (8/6)
Amy Winehouse may be a contestant on the next season of
Strictly Come Dancing, the UK's version of
Dancing with the Stars. Hell. Yeah. From
OK!:
According to a Strictly Come Dancing insider, producers of the BBC series are determined to get the Back to Black star on-board in order to keep up with rival show the X Factor, which has recently signed a host of high profile stars to perform on the live shows.
A source said: "Strictly have made it a priority to sign Amy and will stop at nothing to have her. X Factor have upped their game with the likes of Madonna and Robbie Williams in talks. So bagging Amy would be a real coup."
Amy Winehouse and live television? Yes, it's brilliant. How come no one has thought of this before? But screw her appearing on one show for an hour a night, she needs her own channel:
Amy 24/7. I'd watch it all damn day. I'd get nothing done. "Honey, we have to go grocery shopping" . . . "Sorry, can't go, I'm watching the Amy channel. Last hour she ate a hot dog out of the trash!"
