Amanda Bynes

Amanda Bynes leaving Starbucks in L.A. (9/17)

In case you're wondering, since we last talked, Amanda Bynes hasn't miraculously become sane. Her latest bit of craziness, courtesy of TMZ:

Gym sources tell us, Amanda was attending a 50-minute spin class at Equinox when she suddenly stopped participating in the class and aimlessly walked around looking to switch bikes. Once Amanda found a replacement -- closer to the room's giant mirror -- we're told Amanda started cycling again, but removed her top, revealing a "tiny black strapless push up bra ... not a sports bra."

Roughly 25 minutes into the class, we're told Amanda stopped cycling again -- this time to pick up her Louis Vuitton purse ... and reapply her makeup. According to sources, the actress was doing her makeup -- lipstick, eyeliner, the whole shebang -- for ten full minutes before the instructor grew furious and told her to get out, claiming he couldn't BELIEVE someone was doing makeup in the middle of his spin class.

In Amanda's defense, she wouldn't have started applying her makeup during class if that bitch instructor didn't keep shapeshifting into handsome Ryan Gosling. "Hey, quit shapeshifting into Ryan Gosling! Is anyone else seeing this?!? What the fuck is going on?!?"

*5 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes at Kin in West Hollywood (9/18)

Posted a story earlier today about how many feel Amanda Bynes isn't just your average, run-of-the-mill fuck up -- a la Lindsay Lohan -- but may actually have a mental illness. Read this story from TMZ and tell me these are the actions of a sane person:

Amanda Bynes went shopping today in West Hollywood ... and locked herself in a dressing room for nearly 2 hours. Amanda was shopping at Kin -- a hip boutique.  Amanda took some clothes inside the fitting room and stayed for 1 hr. 45 min.

The clerks heard a banging sound coming from inside the dressing room every 10 minutes or so ... Amanda wouldn't come out, telling them, "I need more time."

Amanda finally came out at around 5:30 PM, went to the register and bought a pair of stilettos, a pair of sunglasses and a few other things. Now get this ... as Amanda walked out she noticed she had tried on a bathing suit top that was underneath her dress and told the clerk she forgot it was on. Amanda then paid for the suit.

Clearly Amanda's insane. Who tries to steal a $40 bathing suit top? At least when Lindsay Lohan goes shoplifting, she steals things she can leave to her grandchildren in 40 years. "Gather 'round children so grammy can tell you a delightful story about this 24k gold coke mirror."

*30 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes might be mentally ill

Amanda Bynes is basically Britney Spears 2.0, except she has no money, and she doesn't fry everything. Other than that, exactly the same. From TMZ:

There's evidence [Amanda Bynes] has serious mental issues. Several people from her gym -- Equinox in West Hollywood - tell us, she has been showing increasingly alarming signs of delusional behavior. One person says Amanda came to the gym Thursday looking dazed and began speaking with herself -- making comments and then answering back.

Another person says when Amanda was on the elliptical, she would stop suddenly and start "laughing hysterically for no reason."  She did this periodically throughout her workout.  This person says he's seen her dozens of times in the last few months, and says it's apparent her condition is "deteriorating."

Several of Amanda's neighbors echo the concern over Amanda's condition.  One tells us he observed her on several occasions having long conversations with inanimate objects.

Mental Issues ... Delusional Behavior ... Condition Deteriorating ... Yeah, those descriptions are all very accurate, but there's an adjective that's very clearly missing: SEXY. Come on, ya'll, you know that there's nothing America loves more than a crazy hot chick (*take note, the celebrity must be hot before the psychotic breakdown, right Ali Lohan?). For a girl who "retired" from the entertainment business, she sure is making it her business to entertain the hell out of me. It almost seems as if Amanda is making a run at Celebslam's end of the year epic fail list, and I'm more than willing to put her in the running. I'm really enjoying what I'm seeing from her and I see her career really taking off after this . . . at the very least she can be a guest judge on The X-Factor.

*7 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes' car finally impounded

After a few weeks of driving into things without a license, Amanda Bynes was pulled over yesterday morning in Burbank for a minor traffic violation. After discovering that she had a suspended license, police issued her a misdemeanor ticket for driving on a suspended license and her car was taken to the impound lot. In response, State Farm immediately lowered insurance rates $20/month for everyone in Southern California. Nice, baby! That pays for a 12 pack of beer. Now all I need is one of those mini fridges you can plug into your cigarette lighter.

And of course Lindsay Lohan weighed in on the situation (of course), tweeting:

"Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far? +"

Because Amanda has been to court maybe once in the past year, whereas you have your own reserved parking spot. That's why, you moron. Shouldn't you be off snorting something?

*5 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes is still driving on a suspended license

Amanda Bynes was pulled over in Hollywood on Sunday night because her headlights weren't on, and incredibly, officers didn't ask to see her driver's license. Which is awesome for Amanda because it's suspended. From the L.A. Times:

Los Angeles police officers stopped Bynes in the Hollywood area and informed her she was driving without lights after dark, police said. LAPD Lt. Andrew Nieman said the officers informed Bynes for safety purposes and are not required in such cases to ask for or to run a driver's license. They did not do so in this case, he said.

Strung-out looking bitch driving around a city full of pedestrians at night without her lights on in a BMW with more dings on it than a rental car. Nope, no problem there at all. The LAPD needs to stop hassling honest citizens like Amanda and focus on those criminals that pose a real danger to society. Like my neighbor who built a shed that encroaches five feet onto my easement. Motherfucker didn't even get a permit!

*5 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes leaving Coffee Bean in West Hollywood (9/2)

Anyone know where Amanda Bynes is? She was spotted going into a Coffee Bean in West Hollywood on Sunday, but no one saw her come out. It's like she vanished into thin air. Spooky.

*10 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes is in trouble

Being THE WORST DRIVER ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET is finally catching up with Amanda Bynes. Back in April, she allegedly rear-ended a BMW in her rental car on the 101 in L.A. and took off (simple oversight, I'm sure). After initially rejecting the case because there were no independent witnesses, prosecutors -- perhaps using their brilliants minds to sense a pattern -- have now reopened the case because of the new hit-and-run Amanda got into earlier this month. Can someone buy this bitch a bus pass already? From TMZ:

We're told prosecutors have decided to re-open the April incident -- which means Amanda could end up with 2 misdemeanor hit-and-runs ... with each carrying a max sentence of 6 months.

Oh God, make it stop. I don't have the time nor patience to deal with a Lindsay Lohan clone wreaking havoc through Hollywood. We need to organize some kind of steel cage death match between Amanda and Lindsay to settle this dispute once and for all. We can have it in Mexico, international waters, or Florida. You can literally do anything there. Florida, I mean. Even Mexico and international waters have their limits.

*10 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes in Studio City (8/16)

Another day, another Amanda Bynes car accident. And this being Amanda Bynes and all, it was definitely without-a-doubt her fault. From TMZ:

Amanda Bynes was involved in yet another car accident Monday night. Bynes was driving in the San Fernando Valley at around 8 PM when a car rear-ended her rental. The driver of the other car claims Amanda made a reckless maneuver that triggered the collision. Cops showed up but no one was ticketed.

Wait, Amanda was in a rental? After three hit and runs, a DUI, and an almost DUI -- all within the past six months -- she was somehow able to convince someone to hand over the keys to a car for $19.95/day? OK, yeah, that makes sense. Let's not overreact here. It's not like she's an Asian woman.

*25 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes in Studio City (8/16)

Amanda Bynes is having more car trouble -- she ran out of gas yesterday in Studio City. According to Flynet, Amanda walked to a nearby gas station, borrowed some money for a gas can, convinced an employee to walk back and pump the gas, and then "left the gas cap open on her car and drove away." To go sell her body for cash, presumably

*21 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery:

Amanda Bynes got into another accident

Amanda Bynes was involved in yet another hit and run over the weekend (her fifteenth this year, according to unofficial estimates), rear-ending a woman on Ventura Blvd. in L.A., stopping to swap insurance info, and then just sorta taking off before actually giving her insurance info to the other woman. Let's not overreact here. Rebecca Gayheart once ran over and killed a kid, so relatively speaking, Amanda is still a fantastic driver. From TMZ:

[The other driver] Kisa says she got out her insurance card to exchange information, but says Bynes "seemed nervous about that." She says Bynes told her the damage to the Corolla didn't look that bad and proceeded to push her bumper back into place (that didn't work).

Kisa says she continued to try and exchange info with Bynes, but Bynes just got in her car and drove off. Kisa tells TMZ she called the police, who responded to the scene and took a hit-and-run report. Kisa says when she told the officer who hit her, the officer replied, "Didn't she just get a DUI?"

We need to start harnessing Amanda's amazing hit and run power for good. I say we send her over to London and have her rear-end the Chinese Olympic diving team's bus. Let's see how good you assholes are now with whiplash! USA! USA! USA!

*10 Amanda Bynes pictures total in the gallery: