Ten seconds ago, that hand was holding a cupcake
In this month's Blender magazine, singer/conspiracy theorist Alicia Keys claims that gangsta rap is actually a ploy used by the government to "convince black people to kill each other." And it gets better. E! writes:
Think you know Alicia Keys? That subtly sexy siren who sings family-friendly fare is also an out-and-out conspiracy theorist who wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck and believes Tupac and Biggie Smalls were assassinated, their rivalries stoked by "the government and the media to stop another great black leader from existing." (Source)
The real unexplainable phenomenon here is that people actually listen to her music. Here's my conspiracy theory: Alicia's music has subliminal messages embedded in it like, "buy my CDs", "download my songs", and "act like I'm desirable even though I have a fat ass and can't leave the house without wearing more makeup than a circus clown". Of course, I could be wrong. Some people* probably just buy her CDs so they can masturbate to the album cover.
*Me (that subliminal shit works)
PICS: Alicia Keys at the Grammy Awards (2/10)
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Alicia Keys at the AMAs (11/18)
Did anyone notice Alicia Keys at the American Music Awards on Sunday, specifically the obscene amount of makeup she was wearing? Swear to God when I first saw this picture I thought it was an artist's rendering. I'm surprised she didn't tip over from being so front heavy.
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Alicia Keys at a special screening of The Nanny Diaries in New York City
More Alicia Keys pics after the jump...
