Lindsay and Ali Lohan at the Haute & Bothered launch party at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood (5/4)
The
New York Daily News brings us shocking news about Lindsay Lohan: she's possibly a negative influence on her sister Ali. Paging Captain Obvious. From the paper:
"If you have an older child who is breaking a lot of the rules and engaging in dangerous and risky behavior, this can have a negative impact on the younger child," said Dr. Eva Ritvo, psychiatrist and vice chair of psychiatry at the University of Miami School of Medicine.
"Adolescents are trying to break away from their family and they don't always make the best choices. They're looking for role models other than their parents, and often turn to peers and older sisters, who can have a very powerful influence on the younger child," she said. "The course Ali is taking appears to be more in the direction of copying than in shrinking from the cameras and the revelry."
Hold on, hold on, writing this down . . . sexually-confused, drug-addicted, unemployed older sibling . . . probably
NOT a good role model. Thanks Dr. Ritvo! Now if she could only use that degree of hers to help me solve the problem of why it hurts when I put my hand in the oven. Because I'm a fucking moron! That is who she's targeting with this analysis, right? No shit Lindsay's a bad role model. Even my dog knows that and he's an idiot who eats other dogs' shit. Easiest prediction ever made: Ali will be in rehab or blowing dudes for cigarette money before she gets her learner's permit. That or she'll actually blow a dude
to get her learner's permit.
Ali Lohan bikini pics (Maui - 4/29)
My alternate title to this post was "How my picture finally ended up on the Megan's Law website."
NOTE: If a wealthy Saudi sheik called up Dina Lohan right now and offered her $10 million for Ali, how fast does she agree to it? 2 seconds? 3 seconds?
Ali Lohan at the Positive Eye Ons Optometry store in West Hollywood (4/21)
+
Brittny Gastineau and her big' ol fake tits [Drunken Stepfather]
+
Rihanna's Ass Looks Amazing in that Bikini [Egotastic!]
+ I'm in love with InStyle's new fashion editor [
Just Jared]
+ Aubrey O'Day upskirt [
TaxiDriverMovie]
+ The worst haircut of 2009 [
Bastardly]
+ Eva Mendes is butt ass naked [
Popoholic]
+ Jessica Alba is glowing [
Lossip]
+ Mike Tyson understands Chris Brown [
Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ Paris Hilton is master of the vacant eyes [
Cele|bitchy]
Dina Lohan is the worst parent in the history of parenting
Some power-hungry bouncer at Villa nightclub last week had the nerve to deny entry to 15-year-old Ali Lohan. Have fun collecting your unemployment check dude. Via
MSNBC:
When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports.
"Do you know who I am?" Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age.
"You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!" Lindsay added. (Source)
C'mon, this is ridiculous. Just let Ali into the club. She obviously wasn't gonna drink -- she's not 21. She was gonna do coke in the bathroom.
Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali leaving Kirna Zabete Boutique in New York (1/23)
Uh oh. Ali Lohan is moving in with her sister Lindsay. This can't possibly end well. Unless you drive one of those tour buses around Hollywood showing tourists where famous people overdosed. "And right over there is the house where little Ali Lohan collapsed after a 7 day binge . . ." From the
National Enquirer:
...Lindsay leased a three-bedroom Spanish-style house for $10,000 a month on El Contento Drive. It's just a stone's throw from Sam's rental on Beachwood Drive ... the two have agreed that separate homes would be better for their relationship and also for Lindsay's well-being and career, said the source. Lindsay's younger sister, 15-year-old Ali, will be living with her while trying to achieve her showbiz dreams.
The source added: "Everyone's hoping the lifestyle change, along with the responsiblity of baby-sitting her sister, will re-energize Lindsay and help recharge her acting career." (Print Edition - 2/23)
Is moving in with Lindsay really the best idea for jumpstarting Ali's career? Teenagers can be so impressionable* and living with Lindsay might cause Ali to pick up some of her sister's bad habits -- like drinking, drug use, and fading into obscurity. Of course with Lindsay's career now in the toilet, we all know the real reason why she's taking on her sister as a housemate:
rent money bait.
*and
really hard to coerce into a van sometimes
Ali Lohan out and about in Malibu (1/15)
Ali Lohan's friend: "So what did you do over winter vacation?"
Ali: "Turned 40."
Ali Lohan is incredibly selfish
Ali Lohan skipped her Grandpa's funeral earlier this year because she was having a bad hair day. Umm, wow? From Crazy Days and Nights:
If you recall, about a month or so ago, I posted a little thing in here about how Lindsay Lohan skipped the funeral of her grandfather because she was in an argument with Michael Lohan . . . But, one person who was also not there was Ali Lohan. Not caught up in a huge squabble with her dad, one wonders what her excuse was for not showing up. Well according to Fox, the reason Ali didn't show up at the funeral was because she didn't have time to get her hair extensions done the day before and didn't want anyone to see what horrible hair she has. (Source)
Now to be fair, Ali truly has awful hair. Grandpa Lohan apparently knew this, because in his last will and testament he specifically stated that during his funeral someone should "Keep that baldheaded bitch Ali the hell away from my rotting carcass." He also referred to Lindsay once or twice, but it's been deemed inappropriate for this website.
Run Ali! Runnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
Ali Lohan wants to move in with Lindsay Lohan. I know, I know, poor Ali Lohan's liver. I give that little thing two years before it explodes. Mike Walker of the National Enquirer says:
After Lindsay Lohan's proud proclamation that she's finally got her life together, she's strongly lobbying Living Lohan star/stage mom Dina Lohan to let 14-year-old baby sister Ali move in with her and Samantha Ronson! Said a friend: "Lindsay really wants to bond and see more of Ali because she thinks that now, finally, she can be a positive influence."Lindsay – who's been privately critical of Dina for pushing Ali into their widely panned reality series – told pals she believes she can show Ali what "Hollywood is really all about!" (Source)
Lindsay's right. If Ali does come to live with her, she can show her what Hollywood's all about: drugs, booze, and same-sex couples. The only thing in the entertainment industry Lindsay can't expose Ali to? Acting.
Ali Lohan got a boob job
In their latest issue, Us Weekly asks the question on the minds of many imprisoned pedophiles and child rapists: Is it finally acceptable to talk about a 14-year-old girl's breasts? The answer? A resounding 'yes':
Did 14-year-old singer Ali Lohan have a summer growth spurt? Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now, that the young star of Living Lohan flaunted what looked like overnight curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in East Hampton, NY on August 9. Just three months earlier, a flatter Lohan hit Fuse for a taping of The Sauce in NYC. (Source)
After being confronted by a paparazzo asking about her sister's breasts, Lindsay Lohan took to her MySpace page to address the rumors:
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body. (Source)
Ha ha ha, that's a good one Lindsay. You almost had me convinced that Dina's a responsible mother and not a leech that sacrificed both of her daughter's childhoods to the Hollywood machine, all in some misguided attempt to boost her own sense of self-importance. Did you know that when Ali was just 4, Dina taught her to stand with her head perfectly still so "Mommy has a place to put her margarita"? True story.
Dina Lohan gets drunk, kicked out of party
Dina Lohan got herself and daughter Ali kicked out of the afterparty for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere. Dina was asked to change tables and, according to witnesses, went "apeshit." Of course Dina claims she wasn't kicked out -- she voluntarily left the party because a studio staffer "raised his voice" at her. Oh no, not a raised voice! E! Online's Marc Malkin says:
Sources report that when Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali's arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but "Dina "went apes--t," a partygoer tells me. "It so wasn't cool."So not cool that "Dina was quietly removed" from the rooftop soiree, another source says. Dina, however, claims she decided to ditch the party because she says that the studio staffer started raising his voice."He made the girls uncomfortable," Dina wrote in an email to me this afternoon. "At that point, the girls wanted to leave."
But my party source insists, the studio folks "couldn't have been nicer . . . Dina was so awful." (Source)
With the example Dina's set for her, I'd be shocked if Ali doesn't set some kind of gangbang record by her 21st birthday. A torn open bag of dog food and a leaky faucet could do a better job of parenting than that drunk.
