Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio at the Colcci show in Sao Paulo, Brazil (1/22)

Apparently Alessandra Ambrosio never got the memo that, when you get pregnant, you're supposed to go hide away on a deserted island until you have the baby because you're gross. Seriously, she is really starting to piss me off. From the New York Post:

Alessandra Ambrosio isn’t letting her pregnancy bump her from the runway. The Victoria’s Secret supermodel, who is 5 1/2 months pregnant, is walking in Sao Paulo Fashion Week, opening and closing the catwalk for Brazilian ready-to-wear designer Colcci [on Sunday]. Ambrosio appears in ads for the brand along with Ashton Kutcher, who is also expected to appear in the show. Ambrosio is expecting her second child in May with fiance Jamie Mazur.

Look, supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, don't let your high status on Celebslam go to your head. We forgave you for getting knocked up -- not once -- but twice, but now you're pushing it. You're working with Ashton freaking Kutcher? If it wasn't for Kim Kardashian, Ashton would be the biggest douchebag in the world. THE WORLD. Hey, no pressure, but I have to warn you that there's a cargo container from Brazil on its way here. Want to guess what's in it? That's right: Brazilian supermodels. Keep that in mind next time you feel the need to tempt fate with your awful timing and decisions.

*11 Alessandra Ambrosio pics total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio in Florianopolis, Brazil

Alessandra Ambrosio posted this picture to her facebook earlier this week, showing the growing baby bump that's slowly destroying her once perfect body. I know, gross. If I had a tomato, I'd throw it at her. "Booooooo, you suck!"

Alessandra Ambrosio at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in November

Alessandra Ambrosio revealed last month that she was pregnant with her second bastard child. I know, gross. What's even grosser is that she was actually two months pregnant at the time (November 9) of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. She told Us Weekly:

"When I first found out I was pregnant I thought, 'Oh my gosh I don't think I'm going to be able to walk on the show,' and I didn't tell anybody so no one knew at the show that I was pregnant. A week before, I told my booker I don't think I'm going to be able to fit into the clothes because I gained a few pounds already, but we were just quiet. I cut all the sugars and sweets 10 days before and I got my trainer -- the one I usually get -- and we were doing lots of glutes and arms and back exercises."

In all my years of practicing medicine, this is unheard of. It's a proven fact that once the goo hits its mark, women instantly become unbangable. Think about it: when you animals masturbated to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you were actually diddling yourselves to preggo porn. Once again, Alessandra Ambrosio shows you ladies that she's just a little better than you.

*34 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant again

Alessandra Ambrosio revealed on her facebook page this morning that she and lazy-eyed fiance Jamie Mazur are expecting their second child (their daughter Anja was born in 2008):

Anja, Jamie and I are overjoyed and extremely appreciative of all the wonderful wishes we've received!! 2011 has been a year filled with incredible gifts and this is the ultimate blessing!! Anja has filled our lives with love and we can't wait to welcome the new baby into the family this spring!!

Great news. I just love when supermodels get fat and stop wearing sexy clothes for nine months. If only she could grow a beard and a cock, too. Maybe develop a lisp. You know, really destroy my fantasy of her. I can't believe how selfish she's being.

BTW, totally called this.

*2 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio out and about in Santa Monica (12/8)

*31 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, November 17

Alessandra Ambrosio arriving on a flight at LAX Airport (pics start here)

Heidi Klum filming a promo for her jewelry line in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Robert Downey Jr. paddleboarding on the Kauai River in Hanalei, Kauai (pics start here)

Rose McGowan heading to a medical building in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Laura Vandervoort on the set of the TV movie Broken Trust outside the Vancouver Art Gallery in Vancouver (pics start here)

Kate Moss out and about in Paris, France (pics start here)

Sofia Vergara at Bay Harbor Mall in Bay Harbor, Florida (pics start here)

Amanda Knox leaving a Krav Maga class in Seattle (pics start here)

Sharon Stone arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor leaving a nail salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Katie Price arriving on a flight at Newark International Airport in New Jersey (pics start here)

Marcia Cross shopping at the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Ashley Greene arriving at Today Show studios in New York (pics start here)

Nicole Richie leaving a gym in Studio City (pics start here)

*130 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio at the 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (11/9)

As usual, there were plenty of ridiculous outfits at last night's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Like what Alessandra Ambrosio was wearing. I don't know whether to beat off to her or put her on top of my Christmas tree.

*33 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio at Shawn's Pumpkin Patch in Santa Monica (10/25)

*31 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio doing a photoshoot for Victoria's Secret in Honolulu, Hawaii (10/12)

There's been a nasty rumor spreading that Alessandra Ambrosio didn't go paddleboarding in Hawaii yesterday. Absolutely not true. See. There she is. I told you.

*34 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery:

Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio at a gas station in Brentwood (10/7)

*15 Alessandra Ambrosio pictures total in the gallery: