Recently in Adnan Ghalib Category

Britney Spears in Miami earlier this month

Remember Britney Spears' original plan to get out of her father Jamie's control by going on a hunger strike? Obviously it didn't work. 35 minute hunger strikes usually don't. So then plan number two was to set up her dad (a recovering alcoholic) in some kind of incriminating situation and then bring the evidence to court to show that he shouldn't be in charge of her career decisions and money. Obviously it didn't work. Plans drawn in crayon usually don't. Britney's latest scheme is to get ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib to knock her up (yes, the same guy who might be getting deported to Afghanistan). Because Jamie would have to leave her alone if she was pregnant! Right? Right? From the National Enquirer:

"Britney is still trying to set up a secret rendezvous with Adnan sometime on her tour so she can get pregnant," the insider said.

While she continues to scheme over Adnan, the 27-year-old singer - who's launched a comeback with her worldwide "Circus" tour - has repeatedly told her father that she is done with Ghalib and Lutfi, insiders say. But she's secretly contacted both men in recent months, begging them to help free her from her father's conservatorship, say sources. The bizarre letter was the latest salvo in her war against her father - and security guards handed it over to Jamie after discovering it during a search of Britney's personal effects, said the source. Such searches are done regularly in an effort to keep Britney's life under control, say insiders.

"In the letter, Britney told Adnan that having a baby would end her father's ban keeping them apart," said the insider. "She said her father would be forced to allow Adnan in her life since he'd be the father of her child."

The "Toxic" singer directed Ghalib to meet her at different tour stops so they could try to conceive a child, even though her ex-husband Kevin Federline and their two sons are traveling with her, said the source. (Source)

It sounds like the only person on Earth who's trying more desperately to get pregnant than Jennifer Aniston is Britney. Sadly, all of this baby drama is probably hardest on Adnan. Especially since every day that Britney isn't knocked up is another day he isn't living the life of busty strippers, fast cars, and easy money.* I guess the only way for Britney and Adnan to be together is elope to Afghanistan. Of course, there might be ONE tiny flaw to that plan. See here.

*aka "Monday-Saturday" for K-Fed. Sundays are for the Lord.

Britney Spears performing at the Nassau Coliseum in Long Island (3/23)

Even though a restraining order was filed against him by her father, Britney Spears is still having steamy phone text with ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. He better get those texts in while he still can because I hear cell coverage is spotty in Afghanistan. From The Sun:

The singer has sent a barrage of text messages to Adnan begging him to help her get out of living under the control of her father. But Ghalib, 36, is unable to reply because he has been ordered by a judge not to communicate with Britney for three years.

A source said: "She keeps sneaking messages to Adnan begging him to help her win back her freedom. She says she is lonely and misses being able to date the men she chooses. She feels trapped. She has been begging him to meet her and help her come up with a plan to get out of her dad’s conservatorship. Some messages have got back to her via her hairdressers and style team - but Adnan cannot contact her otherwise he will face jail." (Source)

Britney, if you're looking for a White Knight to come gallivanting in on his trusty steed to rescue you from the clutches of your evil parent, even this guy would be a better choice than Adnan. The only thing Adnan is going to be able to liberate Britney from is the money in her savings account. At this point in her life, if Britney truly wants to be saved, there's only one person she can turn to: Jesus Jenny Craig.

Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib last year

Adnan Ghalib's latest legal troubles -- he was charged with three felonies last month after hitting a process server with his car -- could find him deported . . . to fucking Afghanistan! Holy shit. From the Daily Mail:

The photographer moved to Birmingham from Afghanistan with his family when he was five years old, and he works in the US. But if he is listed as Afghani in the legal papers, he could be deported to the war-torn country.

"The country of citizenship listed on the legal files is where someone convicted of a serious crime will be deported to whether they hold a green card or not," a source from the Los Angeles police told People News. "There is some confusion on his court documents over where he comes from. Some list the country as Afghanistan, but another states his nationality as British." (Source)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Just a year ago Adnan reached the peak of his professional career as a slimy blackmailing gold digger. Today he's facing the possibility of jail time or even worse, being deported to what most consider hell on Earth: Detroit Afghanistan. I'm not sure what religion Adnan believes in, but if he's smart, he'll start freshening up on Buddhism . . . or more specifically, karma.

Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib in Studio City last year

Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib was charged yesterday with three felonies (assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and hit-and-run) stemming from an incident that happened earlier this month in which he hit a process server with his car. He faces seven years if convicted, which he most certainly will be because everyone in L.A. hates him and his douchy facial hair. From E!:

The paparazzo is accused of hitting the man in an alley behind Ghalib's Encino, Calif., apartment, where the server was presumably waiting for a chance to deliver his wares to Ghalib.

Per the criminal complaint, Ghalib started to drive toward the man, who, in order to avoid being pinned against a garbage truck, jumped onto the hood of Ghalib's Mercedes. Ghalib swerved and the alleged victim fell off, breaking his wrist and sustaining other injuries. The defendant then drove away without stopping. (Source)

Adnan is not going to do well in prison. If there's one thing I know about violent prison gangs, it's that they love Britney Spears. Adnan is public enemy number one 'round those parts. His asshole is gonna get pounded harder than a hanging curveball. His mouth is gonna be forced into more action than a 'Nam draftee.

Britney Spears in L.A. last year . . . so hot

Britney Spears' dad Jamie was in court yesterday trying to get the temporary restraining order against former manager Sam Lutfi and ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib made permanent. Jamie revealed to the judge that Britney's been making secret phone calls to the two on a prepaid cell phone. From AP:

Jamie Spears said he did not know if the pair talked then or since. He said Lutfi had called Spears on other phones and tried to relay a "Merry Christmas" message through the singer's hairdresser and get her to call him.

He said the call from his daughter to Lutfi was found on a prepaid cell phone that his security detail confiscated from the singer last month. The phone listed the phone numbers of Adnan Ghalib, a paparazzo who once dated the singer, and Lutfi.

Jamie Spears testified his daughter told him the phone was given to her at a hotel by someone who said it was from Lutfi and Ghalib. The singer has a cell phone, but her father said he controls her access to it. (Source)

Wow, Britney's life sounds fun. Imprisoned in her own house by Warden Jamie, isolated from her friends, a security detail searching her for contraband. It's just like one of those old timey prison movies. Maybe Adnan can bake her a cake and hide a hacksaw in it so she can bust out. "Pssst, Adnan, Brit Brit needs a new hacksaw 'cuz she done broke it trying to saw off the 'weight loss chain' daddy has locked around the fridge."

Adnan thinks he's still dating Britney

Even though a restraining order was taken out against him last week, paparazzo/scumbag Adnan Ghalib maintains that he is still dating Britney Spears. No word on how he gets around that tricky little thing about having to stay 250 feet away from her. According to Heat magazine, Adnan was overheard telling a friend:

"I still love Britney. I'm her boyfriend. Britney has a beautiful soul. We share something really special. The truth about us will come out eventually, but it's not for me to talk about. I love her." (Source)

Adnan's right. The truth about them will "come out eventually" . . . when Adnan's short on cash and needs to release their sex tape for rent money. If Adnan considers following around and taking pictures of a chick that has a restraining order against him his girlfriend, then by that logic I'm dating Adriana Lima, Marissa Miller, and my "uptight" next door neighbor.

Sam Lutfi, Britney Spears, and Adnan Ghalib in January 2008

Britney Spears' father Jamie has filed a restraining order against Britney's former manager Sam Lutfi and boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, alleging the two have been conspiring to disrupt the control he has over his daughter's estate and affairs. Both men are now forbidden from contacting Spears or coming within 250 feet of her, her property or family members. From People:

Spears's father says her cell phone records show "numerous telephone conversations" and text messages with her ex-manager Sam Lutfi and former boyfriend, paparazzo Adnan Ghalib.

"[Britney] innocently informs [Ghalib] of her destinations and that he then arranges for paparazzi to meet and film her to his financial benefit," Jamie Spears says. "[He] is harmful to Ms. Spears and to her recovery."

Her father also alleges that on Dec. 27 and 28, 2008, Lutfi tried to contact Britney through her hairdresser with the message that Lutfi was not responsible for creating the conservatorship.

He allegedly sent a text message to the hairdresser saying, "I've done everything I can to free her from this. Very close to getting her free now." (Source)

No no no, this can't be true. Britney wouldn't contact those two relics from her troubled past. She's back. MTV told me. "Britney's back!", they said. She conquered mental illness and she has the album sales to prove it. Her dad's even forcing her to go She's even going on tour. Lies, these are all lies spread by those afraid of Britney's provocative lyrics and suggestive dance moves. Well hip-gyrating is here to stay dammit. You're just gonna have to deal with it.

Possibly my favorite Britney outfit, ever

A new month, a new "Britney and paparazzo-ex-boyfriend Adnan are still totally doing it" rumor. And, hey, why not? She's fucking crazy, remember? An insider told the National Enquirer:

"Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments."

The source claims the couple's interactions are currently limited to their cell phones, as they hope to keep the singer's conservator-father, Jamie Spears, from finding out about their relationship. While dad may be in the dark, Britney Spears ex-husband, Kevin Federline, is said to be know the score.

"Kevin is clear about one thing," the insider explained. "If Britney goes to Adnan, she will never get back custody of the kids, and she can forget about ever taking them traveling with her." (Source)

The only reasonable explanation for Britney's obsession with Adnan: his dick shoots Cheetos. Either that or his fingers work like Pinocchio's nose every time he "lavishes her with compliments." If Adnan really wants to make some big money, he'll stop manipulating Britney for attention and start bottling whatever it is that he's been slipping into her drinks.

Adnan Ghalib denies existence of Britney Spears sex tape

Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib is denying reports that he's trying to sell a sex tape featuring Britney and him. Yesterday it was rumored Britney would try to purchase the sex tape to keep it off the market. Adnan told Star magazine:

"There is no sex tape and I've never claimed there is one. I don't know where these quotes I'm supposed to have said have come from. What I do know is they certainly didn't come from me and they are completely false. I'm extremely upset and distressed and I'm taking legal action . . . This story has caused a lot of hurt to my family and people close to me. There is no sex tape. That is the end of the matter." (Source)

This is the best news I've heard all day. Britney and Adnan fumbling around naked is really no different than one of those graphic PETA videos showing a cow being slaughtered. And trust me, you can't masturbate to that. God knows I've tried.

[Pacific Coast News]

Britney Spears visiting Junior High School 142 in the Bronx (10/1)

Britney Spears wants to allegedly buy the sex tape featuring her and ex boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, so claims UK tabloid The Sun:

Britney Spears wants to purchase the sex tape she made with ex-lover Adnan Ghalib so she can destroy it for good, according to a pal. The singer was battling drugs, depression and other demons when the couple are alleged to have filmed a two-hour romp in Mexico. It is thought a pornography website is prepared to offer the photographer up to £5million for the footage.

But now she's staged a remarkable comeback, Britney is willing to part with as much of her own money as it takes to keep the tape off the market and the focus on her upcoming world tour.

A pal told a newspaper: "Her lawyers have been working overtime. They've been told to do whatever it takes to stop the video making it onto the Internet." An official spokesperson for the singer's record label would not comment on the report. (Source)

Jesus Christ, even when Britney's not marrying the dudes she's banging, she ends up paying them millions of dollars. Bottom line: Because you can choose which payout you want, dating Britney is exactly like the winning the lottery. If you want annuitized payments over 20 years, then you marry the bitch. If you want one lump sum payment, you secretly video tape her playing "hide the fist."

[BauerGriffinOnline, Splash News]