Adam Senn

Madonna arriving to CAA head Bryan Lourd's Oscar party in Hollywood (3/5)

Oops, I meant "dating." Freudian slip. Anyways, Madonna is "dating" The City star Adam Senn. That name sound familiar? That's because Lindsay Lohan already hit that shit. From the New York Post:

Madonna sparked rumors of a cooling off between her and boy toy Jesus Luz by making the Oscar-party rounds in LA with handsome "The City" star Adam Senn, who's also a fellow Dolce & Gabanna model. A source said, "Madonna brought Jesus to the Oscar parties last year, but she wants to do it her way this year. She and Adam got on well while shooting for D&G, and she's smart enough to know that being seen together would generate more buzz for the campaign." Madonna was seen chatting with Elton John and manager Guy Oseary Thursday before heading to the bar, ordering vodka on the rocks, and dropping the f-word because they didn't have her favorite brand.

If getting dumped by Louis Vuitton and having arms that look like the Crypt Keeper's wasn't enough to convince Madonna that she's a washed-up has-been, then getting Lindsay Lohan's sloppy seconds should do the trick. Luckily for Adam, since he's used to banging someone as dirty as Lindsay, now that he's dating Madonna he won't have to worry about public humiliation . . . or wearing a condom.

What a charmer

The New York Post really nailed it with this blind item they posted a few days ago (it's Lindsay). I have absolutely no idea (it's Lindsay) who this could possible be (it's Lindsay):

Which male model is regretting he got carried away with a certain starlet? He succumbed to her aggressive seduction, didn't use protection and now worries he may have contracted an STD

While the obvious culprit of this story is Lindsay Lohan, it's much more likely to be someone famous who you'd never suspect -- like Meryl Streep or Elizabeth II. Why? Because Meryl and Elizabeth have the one trait that's made all men want to have unprotected sex with women like them for centuries: fame money they've already been through menopause.

Lindsay Lohan and Adam Senn are serious

Lindsay Lohan already introduced new boyfriend Adam Senn to the family, which is something considering how royally screwed up said family is (illustrated nicely in the last paragraph). From Betty Confidential:

Lindsay Lohan invited her new boyfriend Adam Senn to meet her entire family at her kid sister Ali's 16th birthday party at Abe and Arthur's restaurant in NYC last night. The family celebrated with a dinner for 10 in a private room of the restaurant.

Our eyewitness says that Lindsay has finally moved on from Samantha Ronson, her on/off girlfriend of two years. "Lindsay and Adam were close all night. He had his arm around her, was kissing her and stuck by her side,” the insider says. “Lindsay's appears to be very skinny these days, but she was glowing. She loves the attention she's getting from Adam and looked extremely pleased with herself for landing Adam — she had a giant smile on her face!"

Lindsay's mom, Dina, her grandmother and brothers were also in the restaurant to celebrate Ali's birthday, but — as with all things Lohan — it didn't go smoothly. "Ali and Dina got in a huge fight and Ali stormed off in the middle of the party,” our source reveals. “Someone else kept telling Dina to ‘shut up.’ It was terrible! Lindsay and Adam seemed oblivious to all the drama and kept to themselves in the corner while everyone else dealt with the embarrassing outburst from Ali ... Dina let loose, drank a lot and was much more messy than Lindsay. It was shocking."

Obviously Lindsay doesn't like this Adam guy. If she did, she'd never have introduced him to her family. Exposing someone to the Lohans is like being married to Courtney Love -- at first you like the attention, but eventually you end up wanting to blow your brains out. I guess if Adam is as intent on making this relationship work as Lindsay is, there's one thing he needs to do: wear protection grow a vagina learn how to spelunk.

Hooker chic

Apparently reality star and Gucci model Adam Senn hasn't gotten the memo about how easy it is to get into Lindsay Lohan's pants. From the New York Daily News:

The latest on the troubled starlet's to-do list is Gucci model Adam Senn, a partial owner of Chelsea eatery Il Bastardo, who's best known for his stint on "The City." According to an insider, the two first met while LiLo was in NYC for Fashion Week.

"They really hit it off," says the source. "The last time Lindsay was in town, Adam shut down the restaurant early so they could be alone. He invited some friends to the restaurant later in the evening and everyone got pretty wild. He thinks Lindsay is a fun girl. He's genuinely interested in her, and it seems pretty mutual. He wants to get to know her even better."

Adam's going about this all wrong. You don't need to close down an entire restaurant to get into Lindsay's pants -- you just need half a bottle of tequila and an empty bathroom stall. Besides, Adam has no chance to hook up with Lindsay -- he doesn't posses the one thing she wants all her mates to have: a nice car a big bank account tampons in the medicine cabinet.