A-Rod's getting a little on the side
They haven't even gone public with their relationship, yet Alex Rodriguez is already cheating on Madonna. A witness at Miami's LIV nightclub last Friday night claims Rodriguez was flirting with a number of women and even got one's number. In Touch Weekly adds:
Weeks earlier, when Madonna was miles away on tour, A-Rod spent days flirting with Wilhelmina model Melissa Britos, whom he'd met at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach on November 14. "He became obsessed with her," Melissa's pal reveals. "He sent her at least a dozen text messages, asking her to spend time with him." Even though the model claims that she and A-Rod are just friends, a few days later, the baseball player was seen dropping Melissa off at her hotel, the Gansevoort, at 7 a.m. She was wearing the same clothes she had on the night before.
It's sad to hear that A-Rod moved on to another woman. I thought he and Madonna would be the perfect match since they both had so much in common: their use of growth hormones, their desire to perform in front of large crowds, and their affinity for hair products. Hopefully A-Rod's new fling will be a better fit than Madonna was . . . meaning he won't be able to fit his entire head inside of this one.
[WENN]
Madonna at a Yankees game in June
The news about her divorce isn't even a week old and yet there's already talk that Madonna wants to make babies with New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. Since the hopeless romantic in me knows that Madonna would've never cheated on her husband, she must have met and fell in love with A-Rod between last Wednesday's divorce announcement and now. Wow, crazy stuff. I guess you can never tell where your heart will lead you . . . except on Tuesday nights. For some reason, it always leads me to the "massage parlor." God bless you and your magical hands Wang Lee. The Daily Mail says:
Madonna, 50, is hoping she can have a natural child with Rodriguez, despite her age. The singer is planning her future with the American baseball player, it emerged last night. There is no suggestion that Madonna has to date had a physical relationship with Rodriguez. However, a friend said: "She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her." (Source)
If A-Rod can bring life that that barren, calcified, demonic wasteland of a womb, then he should be crowned the new "Champion of Men." That washes away all of the choke jobs he's done for the Yankees, redeems him for making a fool out of his wife, and I'll even find forgiveness in my dead heart for the highlights in his hair. Tito Ortiz is the current champion, but all he had to do was impregnate Jenna Jamison -- who only has a depleted man-catcher. I think Madge's wormhole is owned by none other than Beelzebub himself.
Madonna leaving her Manhattan apartment today
adonna and New York Yankees' star Alex Rodriguez -- rumored to be having an affair for months -- are "definitely romantic," according to Us Weekly. An insider told the mag:
"A-Rod and Madonna are more involved than ever. Alex has really missed spending time with Madonna. However, he understands the position Madonna's in."The source tells Us six days ago that Madonna -- who dined with Rodriguez Oct. 2 at Dos Caminos in NYC -- "has agreed to be discreet about her relationship with A-Rod until her tour ends and a divorce is announced." (Source)
Hey A-Rod, this is your penis speaking. Remember me? We've had a lot of great times together. Remember last year when we had backstage passes to the Miss Universe pageant? Man that was fun. I still can't believe those rumors about Miss USA lacking a gag reflex were actually true. Anyways, regarding this whole Madonna thing: fuck you.
[INFDaily.com, Splash News]
Madonna and A-Rod might have a sex tape
A sex tape allegedly featuring Madonna and A-Rod is being offered for sale for $2 million. According to the anonymous dude trying to sell it, the footage was secretly shot two months ago in an apartment owned by Madonna's friend. From UK tabloid Daily Star:
The video man – who is also a friend of the apartment owner – claimed he found out and secretly installed a hidden camera in the living room with the lens pointed at the sofa. He alleged the footage he recorded showed the pop superstar romping with New York Yankees ace A-Rod.But legal experts say if his claims are true the lensman could face prosecution for voyeurism and burglary. One said: "If footage was obtained in this way it would be an outrageous invasion of privacy. But more than that he would not have had his friend's consent to install the camera and must have entered the apartment without approval to hide it. That is burglary. He would be prima facie guilty of voyeurism. Instead of making a million he’d be going to jail for a few years. Even if the video existed it would probably be seized by the courts." (Source)
The fact that Madonna has a sex tape isn't shocking. The fact that she has a sex tape that doesn't involve animals, the entire Oakland Raiders football team, and a gynecologist's chair is. Finding a sex tape with her "starring" in it is about as rare as finding an empty Cheez-It's container in Kirstie Alley's trash. Either can happen in any given week . . . and in both cases, the box was probably eaten clean.
[ONTD]
Cynthia Rodriguez soon to drink A-Rod's milkshake
Alex Rodriguez's wife Cynthia officially filed for divorce today in Miami's Dade County Family Court. And it's all that bitch Madonna's fault. While Cynthia claims in the divorce papers that her husband had "multiple extra-marital affairs," according to her lawyers, Alex's relationship with Madonna was "the last straw." The soon-to-be-single Mrs. Rodriguez told the New York Daily News that Madonna is using "mind control" over her husband:
A-Rod's wife Cynthia Rodriguez believes Madonna used Kabbalah to brainwash her husband and convince him to leave her, according to a new report in New York's Daily News."I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him," Cynthia, 34, told a pal, according to the News. "I don't recognize the man he's become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today, he's very cold and calculating."
Cynthia - who is "devastated" about splitting with her husband of five years - also "found a letter where Alex told Madonna: 'You are my true soul mate,'" a source close to the couple told the News. (Source)
It's not the power of Kabbalah that's brainwashed A-Rod, it's the power of the poontang. Unfortunately for Cynthia, she never had a chance competing with Madonna in that department since Madge's screwed more Latino men than La Migra. But perhaps this is all just a big misunderstanding. The "Material Girl" is probably just dating A-Rod because she's looking for more lyrical genetic material.
[BauerGriffinOnline]
