Brad Pitt is a horny cyclist

While in Amsterdam shooting Ocean’s Thirteen, Brad Pitt ran into a group of drunk Dutchmen that threatened to kill him because of his nationality:

“I get a bike wherever I go and I went for a midnight ride around Amsterdam. There were some guys coming out of a bar having a good time. I said, ‘Excuse me,’ and swerved out of the way and they started screaming, ‘You f**king American. We’ll f**king kill you.’ “I’d never come face to face with that before - that turn in the way we are perceived in other countries.”

A normal American would come away from this story with a slight sense of apprehension or concern. I mean, it’s a little scary to think that we can’t travel to open countries such as Amsterdam without being threatened with bodily harm. However, I’m not a normal American and frankly couldn’t give a shit about those things. What interests me about this story is this suspicious “midnight bike ride” that Brad apparently went on. Now I’m no Carmen San Diego, but isn’t Amsterdam the whorehouse capital of the free-world? Going for a “midnight bike ride” might be lamest cover story ever, especially with a man with eyes as dreamy as Brad Pitt’s. It’s like claiming you went to Vermont for the weather when everyone really knows you were there to buy delicious maple syrup.

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