Quickies Redux

Russell Crowe at the premiere of Body of Lies at the Frederick P. Rose Theater in New York (10/5)

+ Video of Salma Hayek’s huge boobs on German TV [Drunken Stepfather]

+ More Beyonce Bikini, But No Booty [Egotastic!]
+ The Jolie-Pitts slowly morphing into the Spears family [Just Jared]
+ British pop star Nicole Roberts nip slip (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Pretty much everyone was at Howard Stern’s wedding over the weekend [Lossip]

+ Kim Kardashian posts old bikini pics to prove she hasn’t had surgery [F-Listed]
+ Nicky Hilton is made of FAIL [Derek Hail]
+ The Pussycat Dolls brings their sexiness to Blender [Attuworld]
+ Posh Spice dresses like a hooker to go shopping with her kids [ICYDK]

[WENN]

Britney Spears at Dromo 1 Karting Center in Anaheim (10-5)

Britney Spears did a little go-kart racing over the weekend in Anaheim. Don’t worry, no one was killed . . . I mean figuratively. Britney came in last place. In the literal sense, Britney actually did hit and kill 7-year-old Brandon Jennings of San Diego. I keed, I keed.

[INFDaily.com]

Johnny Depp to star in fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie

Johnny Depp has agreed to reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow for a fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. His salary? $56 million. As in dollars. $56 million dollars. The sum eclipses Tom Hanks’ record payday 0f $50 million for Sony’s Da Vinci Code prequel, Angels & Demons. A source told the Daily Mail:

“It’s a lot of swag but they just can’t make another without Sparrow.” (Source)

Really? Johnny Depp’s worth $56 million. Seems to me like you could build a pretty robot that walks and talks like Johnny for a few million. Hell, I built a half-decent sexbot out of an old toaster and a jar of peanut bu  — you didn’t hear that . . . so . . . crazy weather lately or what?

[WENN]

Nicollette Sheridan bikini pics! (Malibu - 10/5)

I know it has nothing to do with these Nicollette Sheridan bikini pics, but as I type this, the Dow is down 700 points, “rallying” 100 or so points from the day’s low. Turns out hookers and blow were the better investment. I fucking told you.

[Flynet]

Dayana Mendoza

Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza at the 2008 Global Leadership Awards Gala held at The Waldorf-Astoria in New York (10/1)

[WENN, Splash News]

Jenny McCarthy gets Rickrolled

A few weeks ago, Jenny McCarthy hosted a live webcast on Oprah’s website. McCarthy, the spokesperson for the organization “Talk About Curing Autism” (TACA), was there to take questions about the disorder as well as her experiences in raising an autistic child (her son Evan was diagnosed in 2005). Anyways, some dude totally punked her:

McCarthy [reading the question]: “Amanda from Massachusetts. ‘I am a single mother. My son was diagnosed with autism when he was three and I’d love to take care of him with the best of my abilities. I was wondering if you have any tips on how I can never give up on him and never let him down. At one point I even considered deserting him.’ Wow. Wow. Wow.”

Yes, those are the lyrics from Rick Astley’s 1987 hit “Never Gonna Give You Up.” And, yes, Amanda from Massachusetts, you’re definitely gonna burn in hell. Save me a spot!

Anna Kournikova bikini pics!

Anna Kournikova in St. Bart’s (Jan. 06)

[BauerGriffinOnline]

“Whore.”

Paris Hilton wants kids. Soon. Oh dear God. At her sister Nicky’s birthday at Pure nightclub over the weekend in Las Vegas, she told People magazine:

“I definitely want three or four [children] . . . Soon. Maybe a year or two.”

In the meantime, she’s just enjoying domestic life with beau Benji Madden. “We just had our 7 month anniversary,” she gushed. “We are just so happy.” (Source)

You know those pinpoint smart bombs we use to rain hellfire and damnation on terrorists in Iraq? You know what I’m talking about? We can blow up a living room by sending a missile through the front door. Anyways, do those things work on uteruses?

[WENN, Pacific Coast News]

Kate Moss leaving Volsted nightclub in London (10/2)

Meant to post these last Friday but I got drunk instead. You could say Kate and I have a lot in common. We both like to drink heavily. We both wet our beds more often than not.* And we’re both deathly afraid of butterflies.** She’s basically my soul mate.

*assumed about Kate

**also assumed about Kate

[Pacific Coast News, BauerGriffinOnline, Flynet]

Salma Hayek nip slip!

Good news for those of you that have always wanted to see a tiny sliver of Salma Hayek’s nipple. Salma appeared on the German TV program Wetten Dass over the weekend wearing a one-size-too-small dirndl. The Daily Mail says she lost a bet with an audience member and was forced to don the classic German outfit. Good job horny German guy in audience! You know that whole World War II, millions dead, half of Europe leveled thing? We’re cool.

[WENN]