Isla Fisher

Actress Isla Fisher

Lindsay Lohan is a moron

Remember when Lindsay Lohan thought she deserved $14,000 worth of free clothing from West Hollywood boutique Kitson a few weeks ago? Who could have seen this coming, but it turns out Kitson management didn't really appreciate her strung-out ass throwing a fit in the store. A spokesman for the boutique told Fox News:

“We're actually really offended. The tables have turned and now we're the customer,” a rep for Kitson told Tarts. “We spent $50,000 on her leggings line, but she hasn't come to the store in three years, and she didn't even do a personal appearance. She should have brought cookies for the staff to thank them for selling her leggings because she does nothing. We don't know if well continue to carry them.”

Sienna Miller walking her dog Bess in New York (11/14)

+ Kelly Hu has a nice ass [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Lady Gaga has the nastiest cleavage I've ever seen [IDLYITW]
+ A little something for the ladies [Just Jared]
+ Rosie Huntington-Whitely is see-through [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Paula Deen got hit in the face with a ham. No, seriously. [Dlisted]

+ Simulated blowjobs are not welcome on ABC [PopEater]
+ Anne Hathaway to ruin Spider-Man 4 [Bam! Kapow!]
+ Fergie is not intimidated by Victoria's Secret models [Derek Hail]
+ Take that, horse! [Attuworld]

LIST OF THE DAY: Top 25 Pics of Runway Models Falling Down

Jay-Z at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York (11/19)

Congratulations Beyonce, you turned Jay-Z into a huge pussy. Much like Clay Aiken, Lance Bass, and Kevin Spacey, he's now afraid of the opposite sex. From the New York Post:

Jay-Z refused to be photographed with the Victoria's Secret models for fear of upsetting his wife, Beyoncé. The rap icon would not walk the red carpet or pose with the girls at Thursday's fashion show and after-party at M2, thrown by Microsoft's Bing. A source told Page Six: "Victoria's Secret begged, but Jay-Z refused . . . he explained it was out of respect for Beyoncé." At M2, he was given a private booth so he could keep his distance from models including Alessandra Ambrosio, Selita Ebanks, Chanel Iman, Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum.

Jay-Z was given his own booth so he could "keep his distance from the models"? What the fuck? I thought the whole reason for becoming rich and famous was so that you'd not only share your booth with models, but your bed and bodily fluids as well. Either Jay-Z really does respect the sanctity of marriage, or he's become a bigger pussy than the one between Paris Hilton's legs.*

*rumor is Jimmy Hoffa is buried in there

Pamela Anderson leaving Malibu Beach (11/20)

You think it was awkward when your parents sat you down when you were a kid and had "the talk" about sex. Yeah, well I'm sure your mom never had to explain her sex tape to you. Ouch. From the New York Daily News:

[Pamela Anderson] bares all in a candid interview that will be aired tomorrow on British television - including how she had to tell her two young sons about the raunchy home video she made with ex-husband Tommy Lee.

Anderson's coming clean to sons Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, about the tape was sparked by, of all things, her cameo in the 2006 comedy "Borat," reports The Daily Mail.

"I knew kids were going to watch the film and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," Anderson tells British talk-show host Jeremy Kyle.

"I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.'"

Sorry Pam, but finding out about your sex tape isn't what clued in your kids to your sordid past -- your giant fake tits and daily dose of hep C meds took care of that a long time ago. Pam should actually consider herself lucky if it's taken her kids this long to figure out that she used to be a dirty slut . . . especially since most kids figure that out by themselves if they've grown up in a house where each week they call a new guy "daddy."

Bai Ling at the "Rally for Kids with Cancer" benefit in Miami (11/20)

I think Bai Ling is confused. The AVN Awards aren't until January. And they're in Las Vegas, not Miami. And there's not a huge sign at the awards that says "Rally for Kids with Cancer." Wow, she really fucked this one up.

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of Bai Ling's nip slip, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Miranda Kerr is topless

A few months ago, I posted some behind-the-scenes pics of the new Pirelli calendar. And ta da, here's some more in high res (feature Miranda Kerr, Georgina Stojiljkovic, Marloes Horst, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Brooklyn Decker, and Daisy Lowe and Catherine McNeil, all pics NSFW). I don't know what the heck Miranda Kerr is thinking with that outfit. Seems like you wouldn't get much farm work done without shoes. What a dummy!

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of Miranda Kerr topless, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Shakira

Shakira arriving to the 2009 American Music Awards at the Nokia Theatre in L.A. (11/22)

J.Lo fell

J.Lo ate shit on stage last night during her performance for the American Music Awards. The on-stage stunt called for J.Lo (she has two kids by the way) to climb up the backs of her dancers, jump off the last one onto the stage, and then dance the night away. FAIL (video of PAGE 2). I don't know who the director of J.Lo's performance was but I would like to be his friend. Because clearly he has an active sense of humor. What did he think would happen asking that fatty to jump three feet into the air? He might as well have told her to dunk over LeBron James.

Diddy out and about in West Hollywood (11/13)

Diddy is not your average mogul. Instead of making a big deal out of his recent 40th birthday, he had a low key dinner in New York with a few underprivileged youth. Just kidding. He threw a $3 million party. From the New York Post:

Sean "Diddy" Combs spent a whopping $3 million on his champagne-flooded 40th-birthday party at the Plaza for 500 guests. He created a fantasy Garden of Eden-themed room with a $30,000 orchid display, installed his own black dance floor and black chandelier and treated guests -- including Jay-Z, Bono, Nelly, Martha Stewart, Christy Turlington, Zac Posen, Kim Kardashian and Denzel Washington -- to a silver confetti-drop, courtesy of lighting wizard Bentley Meeker, and a performance by Al Green. Security was tight and even Tyrese Gibson and "Twilight's" Kellan Lutz had to talk their way into the VIP area. Rapper Fabolous flirted with Rachel Hunter after asking Diddy who the leggy beauty was, while DJ Cassidy was working his charms on Adrienne Bailon.

In related news, I bought a new suit and top hat for the bus driver of my favorite route, and now it almost feels like I have a personal chauffeur driving me around the city.