Courtney Stodden’s boobs are too big

Courtney Stodden leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood (8/8)

I never thought I’d actually say this about a woman, but Courtney Stodden’s boobs may actually be too big. Wait, what? How is that possible? From the Daily Mail:

Courtney Stodden’s implants get more than enough attention for their size but now their changing colour has puzzled the Celebrity Big Brother viewers. Over the last few weeks, many have tweeted their confusion over the purple hue that surround her DD cups, as she totters around the house in her favourite form of clothing; the string bikini. But it seems the reason for the colour is not from the aesthetic use of body-paint, rather the pressure of blood around the implants that are too big for the skin that encompasses them.

The diagnosis was made by plastic surgeon Angelica Kavouni, who told heat magazine: “The implants seem to have been placed on top of the muscle and may be too heavy to be supported by her skin. The discolouration she shows is not that common and can be due to the many breast blood vessels being unable to empty due to pressure exerted on them by the implants.”

You know, for the weeks that Courtney Stodden has been famous, I’ve never felt a reason to feature her, and for that I must apologize. Any girl who’s willing to pump her tits up so big that silicone will shoot out her asshole if she sneezes is A-OK in my book. Even though having 600cc of attention-grabbing gel injected into her knobs seems excessive, it’s not even the strangest thing Courtney’s done to become famous. I mean, she actually married Doug Hutchison. Remember him? He’s the guy who pissed his pants in The Green Mile. Marrying that geezer almost makes me not want to fap to Courtney . . . but I will, but not with the same passion as I would have under normal circumstances. And I’m definitely not lighting any candles . . . okay maybe one.

[FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News]

September 13, 2013 - 5:00 pm