John Mayer proposing to Katy Perry?

Katy Perry leaving The Lion in New York (8/12)

Is John Mayer propopsing to Katy Perry? If you believe anonymous internet sources — and why wouldn’t you? — then yes, yes he is. From Life & Style:

“John has been asking Katy’s friends tons of questions, like what kind of engagement ring she would want and what the best way to propose would be,” a source says. “They’ve been so serious about each other ever since they got back together [in June].”

John hasn’t decided on all the details just yet, but according to the source, he will by the end of the year. “John wants to do something special, probably around the holidays,” says the source. “There are a lot of options on the table. Nothing is ruled out. It could happen on a romantic getaway or during a family dinner.”

Um, oh boy, this is awkward. I hate to break it to Katy since I feel indebted to her for about 1,000 pleasant erections I’ve achieved over the years, but John Mayer isn’t marrying her or anyone anytime soon. It’s a dick move all us players do. It shuts clingy bitches up faster than a Chris Brown haymaker to the ovaries. Does that bother you girls? I’m sorry, will you marry me? Psych! See how well it works? LOL, dumb broads.


August 23, 2013 - 12:15 pm