Crystal Harris at the grand opening of Sapphire Pool & Day Club in Las Vegas (5/4)

Crystal Harris managed to convince her husband Hugh Hefner to buy her a $5 million house in the Hollywood Hills. Wait, doesn't that count as elder abuse? From TMZ:
Hugh Hefner really loves his 27-year-old Playmate wife Crystal Harris. We're told he's created an intricate plan to set her up in a multi-million dollar estate, where no one in his world can displace her once he dies, but there is one hitch. Hef plunked down $5 million last month for a 5,900-square-foot Hollywood Hills mansion, which is held in trust for the 2 of them.  Short story -- Crystal owns the house with him.

Playboy sources tell us the couple is happily living at the Playboy Mansion, and they have no plans to move.  So why, you ask, did they buy the Hollywood Hills home?  Fact is Hef is a renter!  He doesn't own the Playboy Mansion -- it's owned by Playboy Enterprises. We're told the 87-year-old perennial player wants to make sure Crystal has a roof over her head when he's gone, and the Hollywood Hills estate fits the bill.
Maybe it's time for the handlers to go ahead and put Hugh in a retirement home, because he's clearly lost his mind. I know some of you are poor and can't afford SiriusXM, so allow me to remind you what a-then-single Crystal Harris told Howard Stern about the man she is now madly in love with:
Harris made faces of disgust as she divulged details of her intimate life with the original Playboy, admitting that the pair only engaged in intercourse once and when they did, it was only for "two seconds."  "I'm not turned on by Hef, sorry," she said, laughing. (HuffPo)
Instead of a house, Hugh might want to invest in some guy friends that can steer him clear of the gold diggers at the end of his sad life. Perhaps a wingman for hire. Of course, I'm your huckleberry assuming the price is right, Hugh. For a measly six figures, I'll keep those skanks away and make sure you end up with a girl more suited for your needs: a wet nurse who's willing to change colostomy bags.

*10 Crystal Harris pictures total in the gallery:

  • Crystal Harris New House 1
  • Crystal Harris New House 2
  • Crystal Harris New House 3
  • Crystal Harris New House 4
  • Crystal Harris New House 5
  • Crystal Harris New House 6
  • Crystal Harris New House 7
  • Crystal Harris New House 8
  • Crystal Harris New House 9
  • Crystal Harris New House 10
[WENN]
  • Margie

    I believe she could be a elf princess from the magic forest. Under that long golden hair, her ears are pointy. She was sent out from the forest to care for the saintly Herner.

  • Thor

    How noble of the Elf Queen

  • Margie

    saintly Hefner

  • Heffy the sailorman

    I eats me Viagra and me spinach every day and I'Z puts a little olives oil on me pecker cause I'm HEFFY THE SAILOR MAN TOOT TOOT GEH GEH GEH GEH

  • Joan

    She looks like a elven princess, just stepped out of the magical woods. I think it is smashing that she and Hugh can find true love despite their May-December status. Elves are very kind and protective toward the elderly.

  • Benny

    How could anyone doubt you?


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