Britney’s dad handpicked her boyfriend

I guess this story shouldn’t be much of a surprise. There’s only so many quality guys to meet in the fried foods aisle at the supermarket. Via Contact Music:

Britney Spears fell for her new boyfriend when he taught her how to play golf. The ‘Piece of Me’ hitmaker – who split from her fiance Jason Trawick in January – is currently dating David ‘Lucky’ Lucado after being set up by her father Jamie Spears and the pair instantly clicked as he gave her a personal lesson in the putting sport.

David’s friend Caroline Harrison told America’s Star magazine: “They first met when Lucky gave her a golf lesson. They totally hit it off which I’m not surprised by, everyone loves him. He got her number and asked her on a date and the rest is history. He treats her like any other person and is really special. As corny as it sounds he really cares and is such a good person.”

So what does this mean to me? Before I anoint the fry cook Jamie Spears as the next great American matchmaker, I’ll just keep assuming that the Spears girls are what philosophizers call “an easy fuck.” Come on, that’s not all that insulting, is it? Look, the only thing keeping Britney from being named an honorary Kardashian is a lack of body hair . . . or a football team worth of black dudes in her dating history. By the reasoning of this story, one could say that Britney has been set up by DMV employees, temp agencies, and McDonald’s drive thru attendants.


April 24, 2013 - 9:15 am