Erin Heatherton filming Grown Ups 2 in Marblehead, Massachusetts (5/29)

You may have heard by now that Leonardo DiCaprio dumped his "holy shit hot" girlfriend, 23-year-old Victoria's Secret model Erin Heatherton, last week. So what did she do wrong? Nothing, really. He just got bored. From the Chicago Sun Times:

The duo reportedly have split very amicably -- which is almost always the way DiCaprio breaks things off.

"With Leo, there rarely is any big drama or ugly scene," said a longtime friend of the actor Sunday. "Leo is a total gentleman, but when it comes to women, he just gets, well, bored. He's a very bright guy and so far, with the exception of maybe [ex-girlfriends] Bar [Rafaeli] and Giselle [Bundchen], he often finds he loses interest pretty quickly. You can only keep interested because of the sexual attraction for so long."

When I grow up, I want to be Leonardo DiCaprio. There it is, everybody -- I'm putting it out there for the world to see. Hell, I don't even need to be like him, I just want to swim in his wake and filter out his leftovers. I hope Erin doesn't feel bad -- there's no dishonor in being humped and dumped by this guy. Think of Leo as being John Mayer with talent. He's actually performing a valuable service to the modeling community because he's the measuring stick used to gauge exactly who is a supermodel -- and congratulations Erin, you're one now. Maybe you'll follow suit and land yourself a closeted NFL player or actor to replace the king of kings with. Good luck with that, kid.

*25 Erin Heatherton bikini car wash pictures total in the gallery:

[FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News]