Lindsay Lohan possibly kidnapping a small child in New York (9/20)

Lindsay Lohan was "assaulted" over the weekend in New York. I know, right? How weird that she's on the other side of an arrest for once. Bizarre . . . *checks outside to see if pigs are flying* From AP:

Lindsay Lohan got into an argument early Sunday with a 25-year-old man in her New York City hotel room over photos on a cellphone and she was physically grabbed or thrown, a law enforcement official said. The official was not authorized to speak publicly about the encounter Sunday morning and spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity. Christian LaBella of Valley Village, Calif., was taken into custody around 6 a.m., authorities confirmed. He faces a misdemeanor assault charge and a harassment charge. The official said Lohan and LaBella had encountered each other earlier in the night at a club. It was unclear whether they had met before.

Lohan was injured but not hospitalized, her publicist, Steve Honig, said in a statement. "Lindsay has spoken with police and is fully cooperating with the investigation," he said. He declined to comment further.

Lucky for Christian, police quickly realized that Lindsay has about as much credibility as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez' gay love child:

New York police have dropped two counts of misdemeanor assault and two counts of harassment charges originally filed against Christian LaBella, the man Lohan accused of allegedly assaulting her while at the W Hotel in New York early Sunday morning. The NYPD says the move was made after investigators quickly determined no crime was committed.

Wow, Lindsay Lohan is relentless. It amazes me that LiLo can run her life like a Michael Mann production and not drop dead from exhaustion. Marvel's The Avengers didn't have as much action as a typical Lohan weekend. With the perpetual crime wave she's had going for nearly a decade now, Lindsay's shenanigans are becoming the stuff of legend -- so much so that I heard she was going to be made an honorary member of the Gambino Crime Family, but apparently the idea was nixed because she brings too much heat with her.

BTW, that was a joke, please don't rub me out.

*10 Lindsay Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

[FameFlynet]