Jessica Simpson's parents are divorcing

The entire Simpson family officially sucks at marriage. Ashlee divorced Pete. Jessica divorced Nick. And now Tina and Joe are splitting up. From the Chicago Sun Times:
Jessica's parents -- Tina and Joe Simpson -- are said to be amicably finalizing their divorce. Intriguingly, Tina Simpson is said to be far richer than her estranged hubby. A number of years ago, she and Joe divided up their responsibilities of managing Jessica's career -- with Joe handling her showbiz projects and Tina overseeing the merchandising and endorsement possibilities. Given Jessica's singing and acting have been eclipsed by her endorsement and licensing deals -- which make hundreds of millions -- Tina has really raked in the big bucks.
Phew! This must be one hell of a release for Joe.The Simpsons are getting divorced, so Papa Joe can finally stop pretending to not be staring at Jessica's tits all the time. I Hope Tina doesn't think she's coming out the winner in this situation, because his hard-on clearly states that Joe's not in it for the money. Careers be damned, "She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" It must have been horrible to explain why he can't maintain an erection unless he's motorboating his daughter. You know, I admit that last line was pretty dark, but in my defense I have it on good authority that Joe agrees with everything I wrote.

*10 Simpson Family pictures total in the gallery:

  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 1
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 2
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 3
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 4
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 5
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 6
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  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 9
  • Tina Joe Simpson Divorcing 10
[WENN]
  • Rita

    I can only imagine what u look like @ robsright.... Who are you to judge and call someone fat especially some one as beautiful as jessica simspon btw asshole she just had a baby maybe that's why her face seemed sweelled >:0

  • pastor dad

    irreconsilable differances: Mc Donalds or Burger King,I only see Ronald McDonald getting the lionshare thanks Jess

  • Robsright

    Hmmmm. Looks like she had a gut even back when she was hot?! Those cans will shrink up to b's if she loses the weight. However, there's probably gonna be some liposucking going on, and they'll take it from one of her chins and her gut only. They'll probably avoid those big droopies. That's my guess. I mean, she's gotta do something to keep her contract with Weight Watchers. They can't just keep videotaping her fat face for their commercials. Well, they could, but the next shots need to actually fit her face in the frame of the shot.

    Girdles girdles galore!


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