"I only passed out twice tonight!"

This whole "I don't drink alcohol anymore because I clearly have a problem" thing with Lindsay Lohan isn't going too well. The New York Daily News says she got drunk over the weekend at her mom Dina's 50th birthday dinner:
Lindsay Lohan partied like it was her birthday on Saturday -- because it was her mother's. According to the manager of Mio Posto in Hicksville, L.I., the 26-year-old "Liz & Dick" actress had "double vodka and club soda" during Dina Lohan's 12-person ... small but rowdy celebration.
But Dina says it's no big deal that her raging, self-destructive alcoholic daughter is throwing back a few, because not drinking is, like, really hard:
"I'm certainly not making excuses for Lindsay's behavior. But she's a 26-year-old woman. Some people who want to quit drinking do it cold turkey and some do it gradually -- you want to keep a balance. I don't know what's a right way or a wrong way."
Aw yeah, baby. White Oprah and Firecrotch getting sloppy at a bar together really isn't something that needs to be reported since it's an everyday occurrence, but the thought of these two animals drunkenly going down on a cab driver for a ride home really tickles my funny bone something awful. Look, I'm a pretty big deal in the world of former Disney actresses so I know how to make magic happen. When I want to run into celebrities in NYC, I'll get a drink at The Spotted Pig. But If I want to get some yanky cranky from a Lohan, I'll go to the men's room at the Huntington, NY Cheesecake Factory.

*15 Lindsay Lohan pics total in the gallery:

  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 1
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 2
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 3
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 4
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 5
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 6
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 7
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 8
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 9
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 10
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 11
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 12
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 13
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 14
  • Lindsay Dina Drunks 15

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: