September 2012 NUDE!

Ashley Sky

Brazilian model Ashley Sky

*25 Ashley Sky pictures total in the gallery:

Sofia Vergara at the Hotel Cala di Volpe in Porto Cervo, Sardinia in 2010

Thanks to Sofia Vergara's appearance on Katie earlier this week, we now know that her boobs are 32F. SWEET BABY JESUS. Via the New York Post:

Sofia Vergara isn't going to change her sexy look any time soon. During an appearance on "Katie," the bombshell revealed why she ignored her publicist's suggestion to reduce her bust size in order to land more roles.

You mean "gay publicist"

"I'm very proud of my body and the way I look. I would be ungrateful to be saying, 'Oh, I'm so mad because people just look at me and see my pretty face. I thank God for what he has given me and I take advantage of it."

Vergara's mom persuaded her to leave her natural looks alone, telling her that many women are envious of a 32F chest.

"(My mom said), 'God is going to punish you, you can't chop your boobs out. It's crazy. All the women are risking their life to get boobs.' So I didn't do it."

Sofia Vergara's rack is the reason why we'll have peace on Earth one day. Allow me to explain. For the last decade-and-a-half, millions of men (as well as thousands of female gym teachers and basketball players) from all over the new world learned some Spanish or were at least able to find the local Univision channel in an effort to stare at Sofia's awesome set. If North, Central, and South America can agree to end all squabbles by eye-balling Sofia for a few minutes a day, imagine what we could accomplish in the Middle East with that strategy? Now THAT would be change I could believe in.

*20 Sofia Vergara bikini pictures total in the gallery:

Kelly Brook in the October issue of FHM France

+ Georgia Salpa is stacked [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jessica Gomes in a see-through top (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ So I guess Ted Danson has a huge dong [The Blemish]
+ Sara Jean Underwood is tremendously hot [Caught on Set]
+ [Brobible]

+ Macaulay Culkin is a mess [Socialite Life]
+ Milley's man wants her to delete her twitter again [Evil Beet]
+ Tom Cruise is having a crisis of faith [Cele|bitchy]
+ Leelee Sobieski looking gorgeous [I'm Not Obsessed]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: The smoking hot S.I. swimsuit calendar

*10 Kelly Brook pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Friday, September 28

Natalie Portman arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Carly Rae Jepsen on the set of a music video in L.A. (pics start here)

Ali Landry surfing in Hawaii (pics start here)

Ashley Greene at a screening of Butter in New York (pics start here)

Lea Michele leaving M Cafe in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Pamela Anderson leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner shopping in New York (pics start here)

Lana Del Rey leaving her hotel in Paris (pics start here)

Lauren Conrad shopping in Westwood (pics start here)

Jessica Alba arriving at her office in Santa Monica (pics start here)

British reality star Lucy Mecklenburgh hosting a charity coffee morning at Orsett Hall Hotel in Essex, England (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari out and about in Hollywood (pics start here)

Amber Heard shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*114 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

January Jones leaving Andre #1 Shoe Design in West Hollywood (9/27)

No January, even though it seems that way to you most of time, your new baby -- I believe you refer to him as "Buzzkill" -- does not in fact count as a handicap.

*24 January Jones pictures total in the gallery:

Sophia Bush

Sophia Bush shopping in West Hollywood (9/26)

*35 Sophia Bush pictures total in the gallery:

Ryan Lochte at Day 1 of the 2012 iHeartRadio Music Festival at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas (9/21)

When two dumb guys run into each other in the forest (and by forest, I mean a club) and no one else is around, does either form a coherent sentence? That is the philosophical question, my friends. From the New York Post:

It was the ultimate meeting of minds and hard abs this weekend in Miami: Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte and "Jersey Shore" star Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino partied together at LIV at the Fontainebleau on Saturday. Spies told us the pair were introduced by mutual friends and spent the entire night together laughing. At 5 a.m., Lochte and Sorrentino -- who this year finished a stint in rehab and drank bottled water all night, according to sources -- left the club through the back door with a gaggle of women.

"Sorrentino...drank bottled water all night..." Now I wasn't there, but if I find out that the "bottle" was sticking out of Lochte's open zipper, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not implying that either one of these two are gay, but I am saying that Mike and Ryan are attention whores and that would at least make this an interesting story. I can imagine what a conversation between these two geniuses must have been like:

Lochte: "What spray tan looks good with a Olympic silver medal?"

The Situation: "What does 'Olympic' mean?"

*10 Ryan Lochte pictures total in the gallery:

Miley Cyrus at Day 1 of the 2012 iHeartRadio Music Festival at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas (9/21)

This is the kind of fluff that's always written about a couple before they split up. Miley and Liam, your time is up. Also, Miley's tongue: HOLY CRAP. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Miley Cyrus is said to be getting tired of constant reports that she and fiance Liam Hemsworth are breaking up. Cyrus has been very vocal to a number of her good pals about the the subject.

"Lord knows, Miley is very well aware of how false stories go along with being a celebrity, but she is really ticked about how much this is being written about lately. "Trust me, she and Liam are just fine. ... He's just off in Atlanta shooting 'Catching Fire' [the next film in the 'Hunger Games' franchise]."

Tick Tock . . . Tick Tock . . . Do you hear that, kids? That ain't Ke$ha -- it's the relationship clock running out on the hillbilly's relationship with Thor's little brother. I wish I hadn't paid Miley that compliment a little while ago since it clearly went to her head -- and her fingers went somewhere else. Damn my good looks, glistening pecs, and charming personality, sometimes I forget how overpowering I can be.

*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:

NSFW!

Don't click the picture. Just trust me dude, don't click the picture.

Salma Hayek out and about at The 69th Venice Film Festival in Italy (8/31)

Even though she's ridiculously hot and her tits are undefeated in staring contests, Salma Hayek still gets sorta nervous when people look at her on stage. She tells the London Evening Standard:

"I have really bad stage fright. There have been a couple of times where I've said yes to stage projects but when we've got a little closer I couldn't. Even when I'm speaking it's severe, not just like little nerves. I almost did a musical on Broadway, but I just couldn't. It would have been the worst musical ever."

Hayek admits she doesn't suffer the same nerves when she is shooting a film, but she is convinced a stint on stage in London's West End may cure her.

"I don't get nervous in front of the camera. I have my routines and get very focused and feel very comfortable. But I can't take (to) the stage with all those people expecting something great of me. I think the only way I can overcome my stage fright would be here in London. I cured my phobia of snakes in (1996 movie) From Dusk Till Dawn. But the fear of the audience looking at me - that's a whole other thing."

Oh, that cutie-faced Salma Hayek -- she still thinks that planet Earth cares about her acting. Is she a great actress or a terrible actress? How the hell should I know? I do know that Salma has an Oscar-worthy rack and a rocking body. I can't say for sure if I've ever even heard her voice. Salma shouldn't worry about learning her lines or reciting them convincingly, just make sure every piece of costume has a plunging neckline.

*20 Salma Hayek pictures total in the gallery: