Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest in St. Barts last year

If this story from the National Enquirer is to be believed, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough are *this* close to getting married. I thought that was illegal in California? . . . wait, Ryan would be marrying Julianne? Oh.

"Ryan was sitting on the fence about when to pop the question until Julianne started talking about her sexy scenes [in Rock of Ages] with Tom [Cruise]," a longtime pal of the Hollywood dynamo tells EnquirerPlus. "Now he's finally ready to put a rind on it!"

... in recent interviews, [Julianne] began gushing about working with Tom, who plays sexy rock god Stacee Jaxx in the film. "I have to say, [I] think he's way more hot now," she said, revealing that one of their scenes was so steamy it got cut from the film. "It was in the strip club, and I game Tom a lap dance," she said. The source points out: "That was all Ryan had to hear! After that, he declared that he was going to make Julianne his bride. They'll be hitched by Christmas."

Poor Julianne, she still thinks Ryan is gonna marry her? Honey, just move on, Ryan isn't the marrying type. He might be what they would have called a "confirmed bachelor" in the good ol' days. Of course, the "good ol' days" being back when you could call a dude a homo and get away with it. I'm not saying that he is, but it makes me feel better to say it since he's banging that piece of ass Julianne Hough. Seriously, I would give my left nut just to sign her yearbook.

*25 Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough pictures total in the gallery:

[BauerGriffin]