Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise leaving Chelsea Piers in New York (3/23)

I remember when my parents stopped me from signing a multimillion-dollar fashion contract when I was five. Gosh they were such jerks! From the Chicago Sun Times:
Even though Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's little fashionista daughter has been offered a ton of fashion endorsements — deals a source in the know calls "scary big" financially — Suri Cruise's parents have either turned down or are completely ignoring the offers, at least for now.
Good Xenu, this kid is living the good life, isn't she? The world of high fashion is already fighting over who gets to give her the biggest pile of money to play with, and it's starting to annoy me -- so please allow me to pinch a loaf on her parade. Since little Suri will live her entire life in the lap of luxury, she'll never have to be resourceful or clever. For example, Suri will never know the pride you feel when you successfully wipe your ass with only two sheets of paper and the dispenser, or the satisfaction of pushing a nail through a neighbor's gas tank because they stole your parking spot. And this is something Suri will never hear, even though it made me the man I am today: "If you can't pay your rent this month, you can start working it off by giving me a backrub." Believe you me, my rent is almost never late anymore. And I haven't had a nightmare in months. Wait, what were we talking about again?

*25 Suri Cruise pictures total in the gallery:

  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 1
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 2
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 3
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 4
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 5
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 6
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 7
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 8
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 9
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 10
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 11
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 12
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 13
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 14
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 15
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 16
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 17
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 18
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 19
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 20
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 21
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 22
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 23
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 24
  • Suri Cruise Fashion Contract 25
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