"I'd like a #2 with extra cheese and bacon and cheese, and no onions please . . ."

Jessica Simpson is taking a page from Beyonce's playbook for her upcoming baby birthin' . No, I don't mean she's wearing a fake stomach and paying some chick from El Savador to carry her baby. I mean she's going way overboard with security. From In Touch Weekly:
When it comes to Jessica's comfort — and her baby's — money's no object: In Touch has learned she’s planning on spending almost $2 million! Of course, given that Jessica hopes to sell the first shots of Maxi for as much as $4 million, she'll recoup her investment. Jessica has rented out an entire wing of the hospital (approximately $500,000 in cost) so that she can give birth in private.

"She's turning the maternity ward into Fort Knox," a pal tells In Touch. "If her friends and family want to visit her, they'll have to make it through numerous checkpoints!" And she's not about to rely on hospital security to keep her baby safe: Jessica plans to hire 30 armed guards to protect Maxi 24/7, a cost estimated to be around $1,318,500. "She's terrified of kidnapping," the friend explains. "Her head of security just held a pre-birth meeting for her family to brief them on the rules!"
That's an awful lot of money to protect a kid who's already overexposed, in my professional opinion. You see, celebrity babies only provide regional bumps in popularity, no matter who the parents are. For example, Beyonce's surrogate baby will be a big hit at the Grammys and Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards, and Suri Cruise will one day deliver a State of the Empire address to the Klingon High Council. But what about lil' Maxi Simpson? Besides being named after a feminine hygiene product (first endorsement?), the kid doesn't have much going for her to demand that sort of protection. Maxi is gonna have to become important the old fashioned way -- by being a reality star/professional chili eater, just like mommy dearest.

*5 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

  • Jessica Simpson Hospital Security 1
  • Jessica Simpson Hospital Security 2
  • Jessica Simpson Hospital Security 3
  • Jessica Simpson Hospital Security 4
  • Jessica Simpson Hospital Security 5

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