Demi Moore won't let Ashton Kutcher go

Remember the report last month about how Demi Moore was consulting an intuitive healer and psychic medium to get her life back together? I know this may shock you, but I don't think it's working. Via the Daily Mail:
She was seen looking refreshed and rejuvenated after returning from rehab earlier this month. But new claims have suggested that Demi Moore is struggling following her discharge from the centre, and is attempting to win her ex Ashton Kutcher back.One friend told Grazia magazine:

"Demi definitely isn't over him yet. Her mood right now relies solely on Ashton and how responsive he is to her messages and phone calls. If he doesn't message her back for a couple of hours or seems distant in a text, she starts freaking out. While she won't admit it, she is still completely infatuated with him and it's clear she wants him back.

"Demi is her own worst enemy, because she was doing great in rehab until Ashton came to visit her. He didn't actually make it down until a couple of weeks ago, after promising to go numerous times before that. As everyone expected, his visit really threw her off and she went from being relatively calm to very anxious and edgy."
Wow, it's probably fair to say that Demi was in treatment for more than just huffing spray paint. And I'm sorry, I speak from experience when I tell you that doing poppers and blasting Red Bull doesn't cause the kind of hallucinations needed to view Ashton fucking Kutcher as some sort of ubermensch. That Kabbalah must be the real deal, because Ashton has Demi's soul in his back pocket. Of course by "soul" I mean a mountain of cocaine, and by "back pocket" I mean muled in his asshole. I just love metaphors, don't you?

*7 Demi Moore pictures total in the gallery:

  • Demi Moore Ashton Obsession 1
  • Demi Moore Ashton Obsession 2
  • Demi Moore Ashton Obsession 3
  • Demi Moore Ashton Obsession 4
  • Demi Moore Ashton Obsession 5

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