Johnny Depp is banging Ashley Olsen

Johnny Depp is one weird dude. Of all the chicks he could bang on earth, he picks Ashley Olsen. He must have been a Full House fan. Creepy. From In Touch Weekly:
In Touch can exclusively reveal that on February 27, Johnny was spotted making a hasty exit from an office building connected to Ashley's apartment building "looking like he didn't want to be seen," a witness tells In Touch. In fact, an office worker confirms, "An e-mail went around to the employees saying Johnny Depp was using our building to try to avoid paparazzi."

It turns out the star, 48, was secretly leaving 23-years younger Ashley's loft after a sneak slumber party. Arriving in the afternoon of February 26, Johnny hunkered down in Ashley's Tribeca digs until noon the next day — nearly 24 hours later.

"It was quiet in her apartment, like it was just the two of them in there," an insider recalls, and though no one outside can know what happened, "It didn't seem like it was just a visit between friends."
Once again, Mr. Johnny Depp shows us why he's a top rank Hollywood beast. A quick glance at his resume shows Johnny's willingness and ability to make cheesecake out of turds. Proof, you say? OK, we'll go with Pirates of the Caribbean, since that had the potential to be an epic clusterfuck had it not been for Depp's talent. And the other piece of evidence? How about cock-flogging an Olsen? Not even the model one, mind you, I mean one of the two that look like Gollum. Is Ashley the one that killed Heath Ledger? I don't know or care but my point is that even though Ashley is a mercy rutting, her career's gonna be resurrected on the tip of Captain Jack Sparrow's blunderbuss. How's that for being a star-power hitter, bitch?

*5 Ashley Olsen pictures total in the gallery:

  • Ashley Olsen Johnny Depp 1
  • Ashley Olsen Johnny Depp 2
  • Ashley Olsen Johnny Depp 3
  • Ashley Olsen Johnny Depp 4
  • Ashley Olsen Johnny Depp 5

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