Things are starting to get messy

Heidi Klum out and about in Los Angeles (1/14)

Things have taken a turn for the awesome in the Heidi Klum/Seal divorce. His shit should be getting thrown on the lawn any second now. From the Chicago Sun Times:

After saying they planned on an "amicable" divorce, Seal and Heidi Klum are taking their breakup in an ugly direction.There seem to be issues over money and child custody issues — plus it's rumored the public statement by Seal's ex-girlfriend, Tatiana Patitz, about his "uncontrollable temper" may have been urged by the Klum camp to help strengthen her negotiating position as the couple hammer out their divorce.

Patitz, like Klum a German model, told InTouch magazine Seal "is not a nice person. He has anger issues ... definitely not someone who I think of fondly anymore."

Wait, do you mean to tell the world that a marriage based on dick size was doomed for failure? It certainly wasn't based on being an equal partnership, that's for sure. Here's the tale of the tape:

Heidi: Successful model, TV host, endorsement whore
Seal: Huge hog, ugly as hell, living off 20-year-old "Kiss from a Rose"

Guess which one is gonna pay alimony? Trick question -- of course it'll be Seal. Heidi will make Seal pay for denying access to his giant black radiator hose. You DO NOT cross the Germans, that's someone you just don't do.

*15 Heidi Klum pictures total in the gallery:

[FameFlynet]

Merryblacklee

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Morgan

Seal is a oppressed minority. The kraut is a racist white slave master. She should be paying him. She probably made his life a living hell. Seal should get the children. It is not fair to take them away from their race and culture. They are black and the kraut is white.

Tom Powell

Hey find arealbastard, she is already carrying a14 inch machinegun.I guss you dream with alike. sleep well in hell

Findtherealkillers

Go back to pulling the wings off of flies, you turd.

Tom Powell

Wow how can rasicts be nasty, devil is living in their souls,well any way he is so ugly higger but he did a very long list of white sluts, he is banging this woman for full 8 years filling her with three half black half white kids, and I guess he got bored, looking for a new fresh white slut to bang, by the wat he isn't living for 20 years on one song he has a25 million album in his safe, think about that.

Findtherealkillers

Heidi should start carrying a .45 - can you say "OJ?"