February 2012 NUDE!

Sophie Strobele

Austrian model Sophie Strobele

*23 Sophie Strobele pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton arriving at Beso restaurant in West Hollywood (2/28)

Flynet says that's Paris Hilton (and her massive feet) arriving to a birthday dinner at Beso last night. Nothing wrong with that, you're thinking. Except that her 31st birthday was February 17. She's still celebrating her birthday almost two weeks later. She basically turned Black History Month into Paris Hilton Month. Racist bitch.

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: "Yes, that's a 31-year-old woman in a tiara"

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

What singer does that butt belong to? Identity revealed on PAGE 2 (click the picture to jump) . . .

+ Jordan Carver has some ridiculous boobs (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Vanessa Hudgen's cleavage saves the day [Popoholic]
+ Gwyneth Paltrow is completely full of shit [IDLYITW]
+ Mischa Barton making out with some chick (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ All the details on Natalie Portman's rock [Just Jared]

+ Cory Monteith is definitely tapping that ass [Celebuzz]
+ Olivia Wilde shakes her boobs for comedy [Linkiest]
+ Omigosh she is so hip! [moejackson]
+ Lindsay Lohan's crack cackle. Nice. [Cele|bitchy]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 reasons to hate 90's nostalgia

*29 pictures total in the gallery:

Sharon Stone arriving for a flight at LAX airport (2/27)

Sharon Stone caught a flight earlier this week at LAX and, just to show the TSA agents that she wasn't hiding any weapons of mass destruction under her top, she didn't wear a bra. How very thoughtful of her.

*16 Sharon Stone pictures total in the gallery:

Charlize Theron arriving at a gym in West Hollywood (2/26)

MY CAPTION: High five if you love blowjobs!

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments . . .

*18 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

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Erin Heatherton, Adriana Lima, and Candice Swanepoel

Erin Heatherton, Adriana Lima, and Candice Swanepoel at the "Very Sexy Jet Tour Kick-off" at the Mondrian in Miami Beach (2/28)

*44 Erin Heatherton pictures total in the gallery:

Bethenny Frankel bikini pics! (Miami - 2/28)

Here's more bikini pics of reality star Bethenny Frankel in Miami (more here). She really does have a ridiculously nice body for a 41-year-old, but again, it's a pity about her neck on up. Such is the cruel cruel nature of creation. It'd be like if God blessed me with a huge cock but also a violent, sociopathic personality that turned off half the women I met. In other words, if I was Chris Brown.

*36 Bethenny Frankel pictures total in the gallery:

Snooki filming her new reality show in Jersey City (2/28)

A rumor surfaced a few weeks ago that Snooki was pregnant, but like any sense of shame she has, it quickly died. After all, who would knowingly stick their penis into that thing long enough to impregnate it? Today the New York Post is saying that not only is Snooki pregnant (from her boyfriend Jionni), but she's already struck a deal with Us Weekly to reveal the news. Of course MTV is freaking the fuck out because she began filming the Jersey Shore spinoff this week Snooki and JWoww vs. the World. No, really. That's an actual show. A source told the paper:

"MTV went into crisis mode after they found out. They're trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show."

The new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies' relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way. Photos taken on the set show [Snooki] carrying large bags to hide her belly.

It would greatly affect the "creative direction of the show." In other words, Middle America isn't gonna watch a show where a 4'9" genetics experiment gone awry gets drunk at a club and tells a guy she just met in the bathroom "not to worry about cumming inside me 'cuz I'm already pregnant." Besides, The Facts of Life did that episode 25 years ago. Oh yeah, Tootie was an absolute whore.

*17 Snooki pictures total in the gallery:

Katy Perry at the 20th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Oscar Viewing Party held at West Hollywood Park (2/26)

Russell Simmons -- who, mind you, looks like a god damn space alien -- thinks he actually has a shot with Katy Perry. Awww, how delusional. From the New York Daily News:

[At the Weinstein Company's pre-Oscar party], newly single Russell Simmons looked like he might want to develop something with [Katy] Perry when her ran into her in the hallway that joined the front room of the Soho House to the backroom and asked for her phone number.

Someone needs to sit down with old man Russell and put a mirror in front of him. Does he know how unattractive he is? Why would Katy Perry give him anything but the cold shoulder? She's a bigger star with her own money. She doesn't need the old coot. I understand why Russell was feeling so confident -- he's run through a string of hotties since he dumped his maid, but it's time for reality to set in. All of his "conquests" are wannabes or never-weres who had to put up with his old balls to get on Celebslam for a spread. Let's be honest, Russell looks like the villain in any Guillermo del Toro film and quite frankly, he's a colossal bore. If you ever suffer a spell of insomnia, YouTube Russell lecturing all of us mouth breathers on music and politics. Royce Gracie couldn't put you to sleep faster.

*15 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery: