I own those same shorts

BREAKING: Miley Cyrus is acting exactly like most teenagers do when they're 19. EVERYBODY PANIC! From Star:

Miley Cyrus' life is spiraling out of control as she continues to make partying her No. 1 priority. "Miley has not been motivated with her career," a source tells Star. "Instead, she's been partying hard and boozing a lot. She's been missing business meetings and hasn't been writing any new music."

At her 19th birthday party at Beacher's Madhouse at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, Miley was spotted downing drink after drink. "She had a Corona Light in her hand almost the entire night," an eyewitness recalls. "She was doing shots of tequila and buying cocktails for strangers. She was drinking a ton and encouraging everyone to drink!" (Print Edition - 12/19)

I like what I'm hearing and seeing. I've always known that Miley was cool peeps, but I had no idea that she would bend over backwards to help deal with my carpal tunnel syndrome. All I gotta do is cut, copy, and paste "Miley Cyrus" into my library of Lindsay Lohan stories and this site can pretty much run itself for the next few years.. 

NOTE TO SELF: Auto-insert the following into all future stories about Miley -- "alcohol poisoning," "vehicular manslaughter," "thick fingers," "Samantha Ronson."

*15 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:

[WENN]