Linda Hogan (aka Queen Succubus)

Jesus, I don't even like Hulk Hogan (I'm more of a Rowdy Roddy Piper guy myself), but even I feel bad hearing about his divorce settlement with ex-wife Linda Hogan, details of which have finally been released. From the St. Petersburg Times:
Linda Bollea, 52, who divorced Hulk Hogan in 2009, received a little more than 70 percent of the couple's liquid assets in their divorce settlement, a recent court filing shows.

In addition, Hogan, 58, the semiretired professional wrestler whose real name is Terry Bollea, agreed to give his ex-wife 40 percent ownership in his various companies and pay her an additional $3 million "property settlement," according to the filing.

Details from the settlement show Linda Bollea received $7.44 million of the couple's $10.41 million that was held in bank and investment accounts. Terry Bollea got the remaining $2.97 million.

However, he will not have to pay his ex-wife alimony.
Let this be a lesson to all the famous, wealthy, iconic celebrities out there: NEVER get married. Why sacrifice so much of your fortune for a piece of ass that's going to get old and ungrateful? The bottom line is that if you're as smooth as someone like me or the Hulk, you don't need to put a ring on a chick's finger to get her to sleep with you. Just buy her flowers sometimes, take her out for an occasional nice dinner, and don't be late when you pick her up from high school.

*15 Linda Hogan pictures total in the gallery:

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