Charlize Theron is just plain pretty

Johan Botha must be kicking himself today. Wait a minute, who? From Charlize Theron's interview with Vogue:

I ask [Charlize] Theron if she ever had a lost teenage love—a real-life version of Young Adult's Buddy Slade.

"I didn't have a high school boyfriend," she confesses. "But there was this guy, Johan Botha, who I was obsessed with. Obsessed! There was a school dance coming up, and I told my mom I needed a dress, and I bought this amazing crushed-velvet burgundy dress—long-sleeved, off-the-shoulder, at Woolworth's. And then Thursday came, and Friday came, and he did not ask me to the dance. And I had to call my mom to come get me. Johan Botha! I haven't thought about him in so long. He was a really good cyclist. I think I spoke five words to him. I would lie in my bed and listen to those heartbreak eighties songs and think it was the end of the world that this boy did not know I existed."

Man this guy blew it. Not only could he have slept with Charlize Theron, but he could have slept with the teenage version of Charlize Theron. That's like taking something perfect and making it even better -- like breast implants on a supermodel. Oh well, I'm sure this guy won't regret that mistake and will never think about what "could have been" again. Or he'll kill himself. Definitely one of those two.

*15 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

[WENN]