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Shia LaBeouf gets his ass kicked

Shia LaBeouf's MMA career is over before it even started. The actor was on the losing end of a "brutal ass whooping" last week in Vancouver (video above). TMZ says:
Shia LaBeouf was repeatedly PUNCHED IN THE HEAD by a shirtless, hairy-bellied man on a Vancouver sidewalk last week -- and TMZ has obtained footage of the brutal ass whooping.

It's unclear exactly what provoked the attack -- but we're told Shia originally got into it with the man inside a bar called Cinema Public House ... and after security kicked them both out, the man tore off his shirt and unleashed the fury all over Shia's face.
Oh whatever -- Shia didn't get his ass kicked. He definitely would have won if the bystanders didn't break up the fight. If you watch the video, Shia expertly curls up in a fetal position while the fat guy rains blow after blow down upon his defenseless head. But how long do you think that out-of-shape dude could have kept doing that before tiring himself out? Maybe 15 minutes? And that's when Shia would have made his move! The old rope-a-dope strategy in action, baby! Ali ain't got nothing on LaBeouf!