No way this happened

Sarah Jessica Parker in London (8/31)

There's no way this story is true, right? It has to be leaked by Sarah's publicist. Via Contact Music:

Sarah Jessica Parker screamed at a security guard and pushed him away during a promotional event in Russia after he tried to kiss the actress. Parker was left in shock when he reportedly ripped his shirt open and leaned in to smooch the actress as she was leaving the venue. The security guard now faces losing his job and is trying to make it up to his wife.

Donstov says, "I shouldn't have done that as a professional but I couldn't believe Sarah Jessica Parker was there, that close to me. Home life could be even more difficult but I'll try to buy some roses and smooth things over."

This Russian security guard must have been hitting the vodka pretty hard. Either that, or the women in Russia still look like 80's Soviet Olympians. Regardless, this guy had to pretty desperate to want to make out with Sarah Jessica Parker -- especially since the last time a Russian wanted to get it on with a horse, it didn't work out to well. I'm looking at you Catherine the Great.

*10 Sarah Jessica Parker pictures total in the gallery:

[WENN]

Pruella W.

She is a lesbian and her hubby Matthew is gay. She is so hideous that her P.R. people paid that Russian guy to do that to her to seem like she is pretty, lol.

Anonymous

It's true, SJP has a PhD in sexiology. She can drive a many crazy, just using her tongue and one finger.

Amanabouttown

I would do her in a NY minute. She may be a little skinny, but SJP has forgotten more exotic sex moves and positions than most women ever know. She knows how to move that skinny little body around.

Fotografovana

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MacKenzie Hawkins

She is just frightening, end of story. I have seen 80 year old women whose hands and skin look 10 times better. She looks like if she has one more lift her ears are going to touch.

Steve

Beneath the make up she's an Egyptian mummy.

Archangel

Bruce, you need your eyes examined.

Can you imagine what a hag she'll be...next week?

Bruce

There is no denying it SJP is a very erotic and desirable woman. Didn't any of you watch Sex IN The City?