Settle down Michael Moore

Michael Moore is a drama queen. And fat.

Michael Moore claims he had to hire a private army to protect him after his controversial Oscar speech in 2003 in which he stopped chewing long enough to criticize President Bush. Because Hollywood is such a hotbed of Republican extremism, you see. From the New York Post:

Michael Moore was so reviled after his 2003 Oscar speech -- in which he yelled, “Shame on you, Mr. Bush!” from the stage -- that he hired nine ex-Navy SEALs to protect him. “[I] met with the head of the top security agency in the country, an elite, no-[bleeping]-around outfit that did not hire ex-cops, nor any ‘tough guys’ or bouncer types,” Moore writes in his new memoir, “Here Comes Trouble.” “They preferred to only use SEALs and ... due to the alarming increase of threats and attempts on me, I had nine of them surrounding me, round-the-clock."

It sounds like Michael was being a little dramatic. He didn't need to surround himself with Navy Seals to protect his life, he needed to surround himself with nutritionists. When considering his future, Michael Moore should worry less about some nutty gunman and worry more about nutty chocolate bars. Mmmmm, trans fat.

*11 Michael Moore pictures total in the gallery:

[WENN]

Anonymous

And after the afl-cio, teamsters, SEIU union armys take out the repubs and tea partiers, who will pay your bills?

J-Mart

He needed nine navy seals surrounding him because; 1) if he fell, it would take that many to get him on his feet again

2) two guarded him and the other seven were scouring the area for pizzas

stewie griffen

have you ever seen peter griffen and michael moore in the same room,i thought not.

Anonymous

The afl-cio, teamsters, SEIU union armys will soon march and take out all the repubs and tea partiers. Then our economy will return.

Upskirt Celebs

republicants are fucken idiots. Michael Moore saying that was as genious as saying the sun is hot.

dave

I liked his speech. Im not a American 'nd I think Bush should die

Realist

Michael you are such a bloated Piece-O-Shit it's amazing that you have not self-exploded by now you fucking loser!! I feel don't sorry for you or any number of other clueless pinheads that berate our country yet make millions for it. The world can only pray that your own gluttony will consume you sooner than later, in the mean time... EAT SHIT JACKASS!!

Buffy

This greedy piece of human debris will not be with us much longer. His own gluttony will kill him.

Biff

The picture of an angry and bitter white anarchist, who is consumed with guilt and remorse.

Anonymous

The only reason Nick hates Michael Moore so much is because Nick is afraid Michael might want to eat him/her. We all know Michael likes to gorge on fruitcake