Jessica Simpson is not getting a breast reduction

There were some reports earlier this week that Jessica Simpson wanted to get rid of her last remaining shred of relevancy (her tits). An alleged friend told In Touch Weekly:
"[Jessica] thinks if she downsizes her breasts, she will look smaller. She's never loved having a huge chest."
Don't worry, chubby chasers and Joe Simpson. It's not true. Jessica tweeted:
Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction...not to worry...I LOVE MY BOOBIES!! They aren't going anywhere!
Of course Jessica loves her "boobies" -- they're what earned her her fame, fortune, and fiancé. There's no way she'd ever get rid of those things. Jessica Simpson getting her breasts reduced would be like Ron Jeremy chopping off his dick: they'd both end up being worthless fat asses without any means of generating an income. So basically like almost everyone in Alabama.

*32 Jessica Simpson pictures total in the gallery:

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[Flynet]

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