Rihanna in Paynes Bay, Barbados (8/9)

Pro: There's a zero percent chance that Joe would ever beat Rihanna up if they started dating. Con: He's deathly afraid of pussy. True, one time he did get his dick wet, but that was only because he fell into a pool. From Showbiz Spy:
Rihanna has “bombarded” Joe Jonas with “raunchy texts”. The S&M singer is reportedly pursuing the squeaky clean pop star — famed for wearing a purity ring — by sending him suggestive messages.

“They met when Joe did a song with Rihanna’s ex Chris Brown and recently she’s been bombarding him with raunchy text messages,” a source said. “She keeps laughing to her mates that she wants to take him one the wildest ride of his life.”
Joe Jonas wouldn't be interested in Rihanna -- she's got more baggage than the cargo hold of Aaliyah's airplane. Besides, if Joe wanted to have the wildest ride of his life, he'd go out with Rosie O'Donnell, slap her thigh, and ride the wave in. Considering that she used to date Chris Brown, it seems like the sort of guys Rihanna likes aren't the type to wear purity rings -- they're the type to wear cock rings . . . in their esophagus.

*12 Rihanna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 1
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 2
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 3
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 4
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 5
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 6
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 7
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 8
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 9
  • Rihanna Crazy Pants 10

  • Matthew

    "she's got more baggage than the cargo hold of Aaliyah's airplane."

    I fuckin' lol'd. Genius.

  • Richard

    Chris Brown, has the gangsta eye, and is 117% all black man. He could more easily satisfy the needs, and perversions of Rihanna. Besides she tend to be a little slutty on occasion.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, she's right. The Jonas kid hasn't got Chris Brown's terrible left-right-left combo.

  • Angus

    Isn't that what Sideshow Bob does? Screw with young white boys?

  • master yoda

    Horrible outfit, but at least that nasty red hair is gone.

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