Jessica Alba’s kid is going to be afraid of the dark her whole life

Jessica Alba and her daughter Honor leaving Whole Foods in Brentwood (6/26)

When Jessica Alba’s daughter Honor wonders why she’s still afraid of the dark at 30, I hope she somehow finds this post and realizes that it was all her mom’s fault. From Jessica’s interview earlier this week with Jay Leno (via the San Francisco Chronicle:

“I’m definitely the disciplinarian. I mean, we don’t believe in, like, spankings. Or like when I was a kid I used to get hot sauce in my mouth when I had a smart mouth or something like that… But with my daughter, we don’t obviously do any of that, we give her time-outs…

“I’m like, ‘You’re going to have time-out in the bathroom.’ And then I’m like, ‘With the lights off!’ And she’s like, ‘Ahh!’ She freaks out… because just time-out in the bathroom isn’t bad enough… (because it) has big windows and it’s a big bathroom. It (the dark) makes it seem that much worse.”

Yeah, this kid won’t end up with psychological problems. Naming her Honor was already enough for years and years of needed therapy, but locking her in a bathroom without the lights on? Come on. She’ll wind up more frightened of toilets than Fergie. No, the best way to discipline someone that won’t do as they’re told is with a closed fist — or as I like to call it, “The Chris Brown Method for Making a Woman Listen.”



Tags: Jessica Alba
July 29, 2011 - 6:30 am