Crystal Harris is a total bitch

Hugh Hefner's ex Crystal Harris is a total bitch

You don't kick a man's oxygen tank when he's down. I'm sorry but you just don't. The nerve of this Crystal Harris bitch. From the New York Post:
Crystal Harris, 25, told radio shock jock Howard Stern on Tuesday that she had never seen the 85 year-old magazine mogul naked, and that their sex life left a lot to be desired.

"Hef doesn't really take off his clothes. I have never seen him naked," she giggled in an appearance on Stern's SiriusXM radio show . . . "I was over it. I just like, walked away. I am not turned on by Hef. Sorry."

Harris, who left Hefner and his Playboy Mansion five days before their planned June 18 wedding, claimed the pair only had sex once during their two-year relationship, and that it lasted "like about two seconds."
I don't know who comes across worse in this story -- the 85-year-old grandfather that lasts only 2 seconds in the sack or the gold-digging prostitute who actually had sex with the 85-year-old grandfather that lasts only 2 seconds in the sack. In Hugh's defense, I probably wouldn't have lasted much longer if I nailed someone that had tits like Crystal. And in Crystal's defense, the smell of hundred dollar bills can cover the stench of Ben Gay and Musilex.

*37 Crystal Harris pictures total in the gallery:

  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 1
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 2
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 3
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 4
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 5
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 6
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 7
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 8
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 9
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 10
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 11
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 12
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 13
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 14
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 15
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 16
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 17
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 18
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 19
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 20
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 21
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 22
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 23
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 24
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 25
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 26
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 27
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 28
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 29
  • Crystal Harris Total Bitch 30
[WENN]
July 28, 2011
Permalink | | Comments
  • Me

    I love how she has that sh**-eating grin with lipstick all over her teeth.

    I also love when dumb wh*res don't realize they won't be in their 20s forever. Example- Paris Hilton. Crystal, this is your future!

  • Penny

    Poor ole Hefner. The old man loved this girl like she was his own granddaughter. Its really rotten the way she has treated. Whatever happend for respect for your elders. Hugh is probably better off, although I know it must have ripped his heart right out. :-(

  • Anonymous

    A prostitute for millionaires, eh? If she does ass to mouth, I might be willing to hire her and spend the next 7 years paying for one fuck.

    I wonder is she takes Visa...

  • Anonymous

    lovely lipstick on your teeth.....

  • Acemeister

    She's as bubble headed as the peroxide used to color her hair. Doesn't anyone notice dark eyebrows anymore - in the absence of this skanks' airing out her carpet? Hef may be repulsive, but her interview is the essence of classless. Sadly, pretty common these days...

  • Anonymous

    Is this your typical American blonde? She may be, or she may give American blondes' a bad name. Swedish blondes on the otherhand are God's gift to mankind.

  • Anonymous

    He lasted twice as long as I would have.

  • Anonymous

    Hurry Crystal, your shift at Starbucks is in in 15 minutes!

  • STD

    She is total raw sex. I want to do nasty things with her. Fun in the sun.

Bikini Pics!

See more Bikini Pics!

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with:

View results