Charlie Sheen is going to make a killing from his tour

I bet Charlie donates almost all of the $7 million he makes from his tour to the Red Cross in Japa-LOL. I was almost able to type that without laughing. From the Chicago Sun Times:

After initially strong ticket sales in Chicago and Detroit — the first announced venues for Sheen’s “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” tour — there seems to be a dropoff in interest. While most of the best seats in the Chicago Theatre have been snapped up for Sheen’s gig here Sunday, some tickets still are available. In places like Tampa and Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., Columbus and Seattle, ticket sales reportedly have been even weaker.

Nonetheless, Sheen supposedly has been guaranteed a minimum tour haul of $7 million — fueled by ticket sales, special “meet and greet” backstage opportunities (for $1,700-plus in Chicago) and a nice chunk of the tour merchandise being sold.

Charlie's getting paid $7 million regardless of how many people show up? He can't lose. The less people that come to his event, the better it is for him. Because he won't have to "meet and greet" with as many people after the show, he'll have plenty of time to get back to his hotel and snort mounds of coke off the asses of his seven live-in prostitutes. I take back everything I've ever said about this guy -- he's fucking brilliant!

*12 Charlie Sheen pictures total in the gallery:

[Flynet]