Minka Kelly at the 2011 People's Choice Awards in L.A. (1/5)

I could certainly think of worse people to stalk. Star Jones, for example. Or Rachel Dratch. You'd have to have some serious self-esteem issues if you were stalking Rachel Dratch. From the National Enquirer:

Minka Kelly fled her Beverly Hills apartment ... when she found her tires and the canvas top of her 2008 Audi convertible slashed in early December. "It didn’t look like a random act. Minka’s car was parked in her assigned space under a carport with several other cars," a source told The Enquirer. "But only Minka’s car was vandalized. It terrified her. Minka kept sobbing to [her boyfriend] Derek [Jeter], ‘Oh, my God, oh, my God! Why me? Who would do this?’"

The couple reported the incident to police. Afterward, Derek tried to ease Minka’a panic. “Derek was incredibly protective,” said the source. “He wouldn’t let Minka out of his sight for a minute. He told her, ‘You’re getting out of here. Tell your landlord you’re moving! We’re finding you someplace else to live.’” Minka didn’t argue, and she moved out the next day. She’s now staying at an undisclosed location, according to the source.

Let me make something clear: I didn't "slash" the tires of her Audi. That's absolutely ridiculous. I filleted them -- out of love. Can't she tell the difference? You'd think after all the dolls I've sent her over the years made out of her shower drain hair and discarded toenail clippings that she'd get a clue by now. I guess some people just don't want to be happy. Besides, her panties *barely* fit me. I won't be back to her apartment anytime soon.

*30 Minka Kelly pictures total in the gallery:

[Flynet]