Christina Aguilera passed out in Jeremy Renner's bed

"Cooooooookies"

It's widely known that Christina Aguilera is one of the biggest lushes in Hollywood, so this story from Us Weekly really isn't too surprising:

Finding Christina Aguilera between his sheets was hardly a dream come true for Jeremy Renner. Popping up uninvited at Renner's 40th birthday bash on January 8, the singer, 30, got "wasted" then lay down in the star's bed, a source tells the new Us Weekly, out Wednesday. A week later, Renner went on a rant about the incident at In Style's Golden Globe party after seeing Aguilera at the fete.

"Someone comes and tells me she's in my room," he told pals at the Jan. 16 affair. "I run up and open the door and I'm like, 'Um, hi. What are you doing?' She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend [Matthew Rutler] was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone's birthday party that they don't know and gets in their bed?! My parents were there!"

I'm not too familiar with the ins and outs of California law, but I'm pretty sure that Jeremy could have raped Christina and it would have technically been legal. It's sorta like when the neighborhood kids hit a baseball into your yard and you don't give it back. They can't go and complain to the police that you stole it. Vagina works the same way. "Mine now bitch!"

*10 Christina Aguilera pictures total in the gallery:

[Pacific Coast News]

Gianna

I hope he fumigated his bed.

Looney

Talk about letting oneself go. What happened to xTina?

Anonymous

DAMN! Her transformation into a SLOB is complete.

Master yoda

When did Delta Burke go blonde?

Anonymous

Threesome time, make a Xtina sandwich, and everyone is happy.

gettothechoppa

You messed up the story. Its actually that Xtina "resembles" Renner's mattress. Big, white, lumpy, and with a whole lot of unidentifiable stains on her.

Get it right next time.

not fun

she is a fat porker that never did learn to wear makeup sparingly.

UGH!

Anonymous

typical homo response. go back to making talkies with cruise.

Gdrive

What a cry baby. He should have just asked his mommy to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the crust cut off to make it all better

Hawk

Grow up Christina. You've had your fun, now it's time to be an adult again.

strang

I like her when she's a little chubbier!