Capri Anderson being interviewed on Good Morning America

I mentioned earlier today that Charlie Sheen offered Capri Anderson $20k to keep her mouth shut about "the incident" in New York last month. I don't know how the hell they got these (yes I do: $$$$$$$$), but TMZ has the text messages the two were sending each other about the proposed payoff (Capri never actually received the money):

Capri Anderson: u trashed my brand new prada purse dude not cool - how u managed to rip the strap off and put 2 holes in it is beyond me.

Charlie Sheen: All I need is an Acct number etc and I will wire u 20k if u think that will cover everything ... I really feel bad, u are as cool and sexy and as sweet and fun and friendly as they get!

Charlie: Don't worry about our mutual friends, deal with me directly and I promise u kind lady, all will be restored and set straight.

Charlie: Just landed, perhaps we can speak tonite....?

Capri: Yes u can call me. I don't have a bank account believe it or not.

Charlie: Oh, well in that case, lemme put together a plan to get u square and flush.  Can u tok for a sec now sweetie?

Charlie: Good news!  My asst Rick is good friends with a cat named Mark (last name redacted) in NY, he will get the wire, cash that bitch, and deliver it to u where ever it's convenient ... I'll get the ball Rollin in am, and have data for u asap after that...☺

Capri: Can he leave it somewhere secure for me to pick up?  Like with a bank rep ... I'm rlly nervous about all this.

Charlie: Of course, whatever makes u feel better...

Charlie: Lemme start that ball Rollin and I'll get back to u with the details...

Wow, Charlie is quite the smooth negotiator. You can tell he's done this before. My negotiations with hookers usually end with me crying and pointing to the money on the nightstand. "Please give me another chance Lexxxie! I was just nervous!"

*6 Capri Anderson pictures total in the gallery: